Ghost Man On Third - ME Superhero / Lighthouse

                      Apparently we are on to week 2. I don't remember week 1, so as far as I'm concerned it never happened. All of this is just conjecture... Week 1 was an absolute slopfest on and off the fields. I think we had 3 ACL's torn (Too soon, E? Whit?), 7 face plants, and at least 5 wasted beers. But, I guess that's what happens when 18 feet of snow melts in 2 weeks and a bunch of drunk people try to play a game traditionally played by 8 year olds. There was only 1 upset(?) last week and I heard Lighthouse started their season too. This week is super hero/villain week. I'm going as "Drunkman" and my super power is the ability to drink all day and not get hung over!               The benefit of 6 teams is I can bang this out in half the time like I do with work and everything else in my life.  Week 2 Rankings #6. Balls on your Shin (0-1) Probably should enjoy the vi...

            Spring season is finally here! Welcome to a brand new season of Port Sports Kickball!! Wait, never mind this is WAKA... Even though 70% of the teams are playing kick away...Anyway... That means your weekly power rankings are back! Sorry for taking last season off, I was busy winning a championship. For those who don't know me, I am Jason Sparks and for those that do, I'm sorry. This is your general run of the mill disclaimer where I say this is all in good fun and don't take anything I say seriously blah blah blah. But, you all know that and if you don't you'll either think this is entertaining or I'm a giant asshole... or both, and I'm okay with that.            Today kicks off what will be the longest stretch of terrible Friday mornings ever. Some will have a few casual beers at the games and go to Dewey's and have one more. Some will get a little weird at Dewey's. The true WAKA kickballers close OPT and if you'...

Before anyone ever cared where I would play kickball, I was an adult from the mean streets of Portland, ME. It’s where I sat around. It’s where I pounded beers. It holds a special place in my heart. People there have seen me throw up. I sometimes feel like I’m their son. My relationship with my longtime teammates is bigger than kickball. I knew that four years ago. I could care less about that now. Remember when I was sitting on Kevin Rice’s porch in 2010? I was thinking, this is really tough. I could feel it. I was starting something great. A potential dynasty. If I had to do it all over again, I’d probably do things differently, but I’d still have created my team. The past few years helped raise me into who I am. I became a juggernaut on the field. Crushed beers and bunts with the best of them. Struck out more bitches than I ever could have imagined. Without the experiences I had there, I wouldn’t be able to do what I’m doing today. I’m doing this essay because I want ...

            This Thursday marks the final week of games in our Spring season. This has genuinely been a boring season. The games were remarkably predictable. The league is split between our current and former sponsor bar. OPT hasn't seen a kickball shirt since week 2. Stevey only had one flip out. Bez is about as much fun as shoveling snow now. I hope that Fall season brings a little more excitement. With all that being said, this should be the most exciting week of the season. We have the 4 teams that have been the best 4 teams all season. My perfect bracket is still in tact and I intend to keep it that way. Bar belt this week goes to Leah Jones. She got bicycle kicked by Joey, got staples in her head, felt good enough to come to Dewey's (what's your excuse everyone who couldn't make it out?), and almost beat the shit out of a bouncer's girlfriend at Amigo's while dropping C-bombs the whole way. The Final Four #1 Hand Made Love (7-0-1) vs. #4. Rum...

Lighthousers (aka the better league to be a part of)... We made it through the first week of playoffs, and although the total number of players has dropped off, the intensity has only grown. We are down to the last week of the Spring season, where champions are crowned and the losers spend the next couple months dreaming of what could have been, using a heartbreaking defeat in the playoffs as an excuse to be an alcoholic. For a select few of you, you'll be on top of the world, bragging to all your friends about how you won your kickball league, and then get pissed at them for not comprehending the weight of that title. For the rest of you, the next couple months will be tough... you will show up at Rivalries on a Thursday night dreaming of a time when your team will be there celebrating with the gold ball, silently telling yourself that next season will be the one. What happens these next 24 hours will determine which side of the picture you're on. How about some predictions......

                       The playoffs are here! I know the schedule says "Rain/make up week", but I assure you that we are at the point of the season where the games matter. So that means that ref abuse will be at an all time high and we'll probably see some tension and arguing... and that's just from the Lighthouse league. I'm gonna keep things fairly simple this week because we're just weeding out the losers.  Play In Games Pocket Pounders vs. Pitches Be Krazy These guys didn't meet in the regular season but were the only teams to forfeit. PP has shown flashes of skill and is by far the superior team. The only thing to worry about is if they show up at all (see: last week). PBK's got a lot of heart and at least attempts to field a full roster every week. If PP shows up they should win easily 8-0. The UntouchaBalls vs. Kick Tease Sparkles bunch tends to drink far too much and not really give two shits about...

Lighthousers! Playoffs are here. Now is the time to determine who won't be going to Vegas because we all play in the lighthouse league. So congrats to anyone who just so happens to be planning a trip to Vegas for no reason. Last week was pretty crazy. We had expected wins according to our predictions but what surprised us most is when the Tinderella's out sloshed the Misfits on and off the field. Thankfully for our beloved readers, the Gspot Crew is still intact; what started out as a challenge to the death between the two writers turned into Casey Kasem volunteering to die as Tribute, so you all can thank us for being able to get you LOL'ing at work. Truer words have never been spoken Hop, although I feel the CK Tribute might have been a little too soon. To correct our statement and protect our karma, R.I.P. Casey Kasem - thank you for taking the bullet (figuratively speaking) for the Gspot crew. The Gspot crew did indeed have a brief 5 hour fallout, but like the Eagles, P...