Superhero Playoff Preview
DISCLAIMER - This is meant to be a joke, if you take it seriously, please retire from kickball. Thanks.
Play in games:
Running on Empties vs. Balled and the Beautiful
The RoE defense this season has been a shade above abysmal this season so they've got to be due to have a game with less than 12 errors. Captain JSparks has been lights out this season sporting a minuscule 27.94 ERA this season (Cy Young anyone?) and has mastered the 12oz curl so B&B better be ready for the heat. The last time these two played it was 4-1 RoE but it should be closer this time. B&B's downfall will be the 654 jello shots they consume pre game. Final score 5-3 RoE. The Natural Light Man (or Woman) of the Match: Russ Broad. For his game changing trash talk.
Bruce Spring Teaing vs. Swamp Donkeys
Swamp Donkeys boast the only defeated season in Superhero (0-8). Spring Teaing boasts the more denim in one area than a prom in Canada. That trend will continue as BST is born to run all over them. This one won't be close. 9-2. 46-0 Twisted Teas consumed. Natural Light Man (or Woman) of the Match: Kris "The Naturally Bald Eagle" Mercier. If he wears the eagle costume.
The Not So Elite 8
NDW vs Running on Empties
NDW has been practicing feverishly at their kickball compound (Houghton calls it The Hop Yard for tax purposes) since their loss to Exotic Pet Owners a few weeks ago. So expect them to be at their best. They should also have all their ringers for the playoffs. RoE will probably win the trash talk battle and the unintentional comedy should be pretty good for this one. Last time these 2 played it was a nail biter (137-0 I think). This time around RoE will definitely make NDW sweat (Or maybe the 95 degree heat will). If RoE could kick every ball to Brandon Shaw, they could pull off the upset... Should be one of those closer than it looks 11-1 games with RoE's only run coming on a Houghton 4 pitch walk with the bases loaded. Natural Light Man (or Woman) of the Match: Kathleen Nugent for actually checking on the chicken..
Exotic Pet Owners vs. Bruce Spring Teaing
EPO goes as All World catcher Steve Ginn goes. Just having him behind the plate psyched out the best team in the league because it's always in your head that if you don't place your bunt far enough away, you are out. BST will be in their glory days after all those teas consumed and the sweaty jorts weighing them down. They will score on a Faley dropped fly ball. EPO pulls it out 5-1. Natural Light Man (or Woman) of the Match: Brandon Shaw for leaving the team.
Down to Get Weird vs. Catch Her in the Eye
The team that wants to lose to NDW the most will win this game. CHITE started the season hot and had title hopes but have been very mediocre as of late. I'm sure captain Caitlin will have any players who are batting under the Sparks line (.192 avg.) to make other plans so they will be at their strongest. DTGW has the experience in big pressure packed playoff games. I'm sure Busque will have his shirt off by the 3rd inning knowing it will distract all the CHITE ladies. Veteran move. CHITE should win this 5-4, but DTGW will move on after finding out CHITE has 7 players playing that aren't on their roster. Side note: Corliss will break the single game record for unnecessary head first slides with 4. Natural Light Man (or Woman) of the Match: Tristan McCarthy. 3-3, 2 RBI and a WAKA record 13 awkward moments.
Portland Rum Riot vs. The WAKA Shame
I'd have to call this the game of the week. Shaker has been mentally preparing for this by blacking out a record 8 straight Thursdays. PRR has a strong defense with Captain Ollie at charger and he will be busy because Waka Shame has some speed at the top. The game will be decided on an error by Matt Shaker as he gets caught day dreaming about singing "Call Me Maybe" at OPT. Portland Rum Riot prevails 5-3. Natural Light Man (or Woman) of the Match: Valerie Lessard. She will draw 2 crucial walks by flashing the head ref.
Stay tuned for next weeks picks!
Play in games:
Running on Empties vs. Balled and the Beautiful
The RoE defense this season has been a shade above abysmal this season so they've got to be due to have a game with less than 12 errors. Captain JSparks has been lights out this season sporting a minuscule 27.94 ERA this season (Cy Young anyone?) and has mastered the 12oz curl so B&B better be ready for the heat. The last time these two played it was 4-1 RoE but it should be closer this time. B&B's downfall will be the 654 jello shots they consume pre game. Final score 5-3 RoE. The Natural Light Man (or Woman) of the Match: Russ Broad. For his game changing trash talk.
Bruce Spring Teaing vs. Swamp Donkeys
Swamp Donkeys boast the only defeated season in Superhero (0-8). Spring Teaing boasts the more denim in one area than a prom in Canada. That trend will continue as BST is born to run all over them. This one won't be close. 9-2. 46-0 Twisted Teas consumed. Natural Light Man (or Woman) of the Match: Kris "The Naturally Bald Eagle" Mercier. If he wears the eagle costume.
The Not So Elite 8
NDW vs Running on Empties
NDW has been practicing feverishly at their kickball compound (Houghton calls it The Hop Yard for tax purposes) since their loss to Exotic Pet Owners a few weeks ago. So expect them to be at their best. They should also have all their ringers for the playoffs. RoE will probably win the trash talk battle and the unintentional comedy should be pretty good for this one. Last time these 2 played it was a nail biter (137-0 I think). This time around RoE will definitely make NDW sweat (Or maybe the 95 degree heat will). If RoE could kick every ball to Brandon Shaw, they could pull off the upset... Should be one of those closer than it looks 11-1 games with RoE's only run coming on a Houghton 4 pitch walk with the bases loaded. Natural Light Man (or Woman) of the Match: Kathleen Nugent for actually checking on the chicken..
Exotic Pet Owners vs. Bruce Spring Teaing
EPO goes as All World catcher Steve Ginn goes. Just having him behind the plate psyched out the best team in the league because it's always in your head that if you don't place your bunt far enough away, you are out. BST will be in their glory days after all those teas consumed and the sweaty jorts weighing them down. They will score on a Faley dropped fly ball. EPO pulls it out 5-1. Natural Light Man (or Woman) of the Match: Brandon Shaw for leaving the team.
Down to Get Weird vs. Catch Her in the Eye
The team that wants to lose to NDW the most will win this game. CHITE started the season hot and had title hopes but have been very mediocre as of late. I'm sure captain Caitlin will have any players who are batting under the Sparks line (.192 avg.) to make other plans so they will be at their strongest. DTGW has the experience in big pressure packed playoff games. I'm sure Busque will have his shirt off by the 3rd inning knowing it will distract all the CHITE ladies. Veteran move. CHITE should win this 5-4, but DTGW will move on after finding out CHITE has 7 players playing that aren't on their roster. Side note: Corliss will break the single game record for unnecessary head first slides with 4. Natural Light Man (or Woman) of the Match: Tristan McCarthy. 3-3, 2 RBI and a WAKA record 13 awkward moments.
Portland Rum Riot vs. The WAKA Shame
I'd have to call this the game of the week. Shaker has been mentally preparing for this by blacking out a record 8 straight Thursdays. PRR has a strong defense with Captain Ollie at charger and he will be busy because Waka Shame has some speed at the top. The game will be decided on an error by Matt Shaker as he gets caught day dreaming about singing "Call Me Maybe" at OPT. Portland Rum Riot prevails 5-3. Natural Light Man (or Woman) of the Match: Valerie Lessard. She will draw 2 crucial walks by flashing the head ref.
Stay tuned for next weeks picks!
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