Ghost Man On Third - ME Superhero / Lighthouse

                This season has been very interesting to watch from the sidelines. I know 2 or 3 of you have missed me dearly, but I have more than one championship to win this Fall. So apparently we have just 4 teams left and really anyone of them could win (ha!). This is going to be a rare playoffs where it's not either cold as fuck, raining, a monsoon, or all of the above. When was the last time that happened? Props to Shane for coming out to head ref tonight. It'll be nice to have a neutral person reffing games that might be so stressful that the rest of Papi's beard turns grey. Let's just get to the fun because I have a costume to make and I really don't give a shit about any team that's not playing tonight.  Semifinals No Dead Weight vs. Muff N Men I'm sure everyone knows what happened with Bez this season. He got the bootski for molesting a player and is now on the WAKA watch list just in case he attempts a terror attack during playoffs. Here&#

       Final regular season week! NDW has secured the #1 seed for Superhero already, but depending on how the rest of the week plays out, anyone could grab that second bye (J/K only Run Riot and BoyS can). Superhero went 5-0-1 last week, with BoyS settling for a tie (props to AlcoBallix) and probably locking up worst record against Lighthouse. Superhero is 11-2-1 in crossovers with just this week remaining. Lots of on field shenanigans this week. Tailgating, dizzy bat, Flabongo, a barrel of Dena punch. This would be a terrible week to miss for something stupid like softball. Short and sweet this week. Gotta save some material for the playoffs! Power Rankings #6. Hand Made Love More wins against Lighthouse than Superhero should do them well heading into playoffs. #5. Jugs & Thugs Nice spank job last week. So much easier to win when captain stone hands isn't there dropping everything. #4. Tinder Rejects After lasts weeks beat down, Shaker was seen trying to negotiate b

        Short and sweet this week as I've been busy and we're still in crossover weeks so it's all basically for bragging rights. Congrats to Pitches Be Krazy and We've Got the Runs for being the first Lighthouse teams to triumph over Superhero. The overall record is 6-2 Superhero, but we've got 6 games tonight and 6 more next week. I'm going to burn through the rankings and focus more on predictions much like last week. Week 7 Power Rankings #6. Hand Made Love Gift wrapped a new team that hadn't won a game all season and HML barely squeaked out a win? Back to the bottom you go! #5. Jugs & Thugs Gotta punish these guys for falling for the "you have to have a girl pitch in Lighthouse" con... And then getting smoked. Only thing that dropped more balls than Sothea last week was puberty. #4. Tinder Rejects You know the rest of the league is struggling when Shaker's team is ranked 4th. At least they repped Superhero well and put a beat

        We had our first rain out of the season last week, which doubled as the nicest kickball weather we've had all season. The best part about it was the massive 45+ person Sloshball game that featured a crazy amount of runs, my slutty Flabongo, an Asian chug off, two pussy bumps, and someone NOT on NDW complaining about every call. If you missed it, then you missed out. I wouldn't have traded that for anything (especially U2 tickets). This week is America week, which should be everyday, and we are playing by the Week 7 schedule. It's our second first crossover week! Power rankings will be back next week since they haven't changed due to the rain out. So enjoy tonight's predictions! Tonight's Games Balls on your Shin (-6) vs. Misfits This could be the battle of best dressed as both of these teams have been killing it on a weekly basis in that category. Unfortunately, that's all that the Misfits have any chance at winning tonight because this gam

          Okay, so apparently it's Thursday and I need to keep my obligation to type this mildly offensive write up that no one reads but me 193 times a week. What we learned last week: NDW is human, Lighthouse might be in trouble the next three weeks, I am as good at predicting games as the Mayans are at predicting the end of days, and Fireball specials are a great way to have no one show up at OPT. We're at the point of the season where Superhero goes and mingles with Lighthouse. I'm supposed to avoid Lighthouse like I'm supposed to avoid elementary school playgrounds but,  that's not really my style... So I'll just apologize in advance. Any week could be strike two for me. Don't expect much in the rankings, unless you lose a kick away game against JV. Rankings will be short and brutal, but game predictions should make up for it! Week Whatever Rankings! #6. A Whole Shitload of Dead Weight What an absolute disaster last week... Between barely bea

                               We've finally made it to the halfway point of the season. Hopefully you've got enough sick time to make it through the next half. Props to the prom committee (don't know, don't care) for setting up a great mid season disaster. There was an amazing amount of cross dressing. Jugs & Thugs thought they had the  garter  bar belt in the bag until a stretch Hummer rolled up and a sea of Canadian tuxedos paraded out. The curse of #2 continued (0-4), so we'll try a new team there this week. And shout out to AlcoBallix for being the first team (that I know of) warned for being over competitive. Enjoy your last chance at a win this season. Look forward to seeing you guys in Superhero next season! This week we have our first crossover game... Hopefully NDW can represent Superhero with dignity and mercy. Word on the street is there is a Fireball promo going on at Dewey's this week, because that's EXACTLY what we need. (I never say no

          For the first time this season, I crossed the line. I said my apologies, got smacked, punched, kicked, kissed, blah blah blah so it's all over. I even went out of my way to be WAKA slut 2015. I've been told by Whitney Goodell to stick to Superhero. If you are in Lighthouse and want to be mentioned in the GMoT, you will need to: Do something stupid or worthy of a little poking fun at, AND get Whit to give me the okay to blast you. This is for entertainment only and I don't want that misunderstood!       Anyway! Things we learned last week: Jugs & Thugs are the best team not named NDW, no other team in this league likes winning apparently, Darcey turns into the incredible hulk when she drinks whiskey, and Superhero can totally out party Lighthouse. I didn't realize last week was "Bring a former player to the field" week. Shout out to Precious, B Monkey, K Monkey, D Monkey, J Shakes, Renee, and anyone else I missed/forgot/don't care about. Thi

                      Welcome to week 3! AKA bar games week. AKA it's finally going to be in the 70s week! By now you've realized just how old you are because you're in bed on a Friday night by 9PM. I hope I never feel that old! Things we learned in Week 2: The number 2 team on the rankings is a jinx (0-2) so far. Hand Made Love needs to change their name to Time to Retire. And, I need to retire the 2 beer solo cup. What's this I hear about a team complaining because an opposing pitcher was throwing too hard and bouncy? This isn't tee ball. Rule 7.0.1b states: A pitch can be delivered however the fuck the pitcher wants to deliver it. Since when is Lighthouse sponsored by Kleenex? That's supposed to be NDW's sponsor. Crossover weeks are coming up soon, so you better stock up! Power Rankings #6. Hand Made Love Atrocious start to the season. This has to be the first time HML has been ranked last since I started doing this. But, they earned it after gi

                      Apparently we are on to week 2. I don't remember week 1, so as far as I'm concerned it never happened. All of this is just conjecture... Week 1 was an absolute slopfest on and off the fields. I think we had 3 ACL's torn (Too soon, E? Whit?), 7 face plants, and at least 5 wasted beers. But, I guess that's what happens when 18 feet of snow melts in 2 weeks and a bunch of drunk people try to play a game traditionally played by 8 year olds. There was only 1 upset(?) last week and I heard Lighthouse started their season too. This week is super hero/villain week. I'm going as "Drunkman" and my super power is the ability to drink all day and not get hung over!               The benefit of 6 teams is I can bang this out in half the time like I do with work and everything else in my life.  Week 2 Rankings #6. Balls on your Shin (0-1) Probably should enjoy the view from the bottom because that's where you're most likely go

            Spring season is finally here! Welcome to a brand new season of Port Sports Kickball!! Wait, never mind this is WAKA... Even though 70% of the teams are playing kick away...Anyway... That means your weekly power rankings are back! Sorry for taking last season off, I was busy winning a championship. For those who don't know me, I am Jason Sparks and for those that do, I'm sorry. This is your general run of the mill disclaimer where I say this is all in good fun and don't take anything I say seriously blah blah blah. But, you all know that and if you don't you'll either think this is entertaining or I'm a giant asshole... or both, and I'm okay with that.            Today kicks off what will be the longest stretch of terrible Friday mornings ever. Some will have a few casual beers at the games and go to Dewey's and have one more. Some will get a little weird at Dewey's. The true WAKA kickballers close OPT and if you're me, you crack be