Ghost Man On Third - ME Superhero / Lighthouse

Before anyone ever cared where I would play kickball, I was an adult from the mean streets of Portland, ME. It’s where I sat around. It’s where I pounded beers. It holds a special place in my heart. People there have seen me throw up. I sometimes feel like I’m their son. My relationship with my longtime teammates is bigger than kickball. I knew that four years ago. I could care less about that now. Remember when I was sitting on Kevin Rice’s porch in 2010? I was thinking, this is really tough. I could feel it. I was starting something great. A potential dynasty. If I had to do it all over again, I’d probably do things differently, but I’d still have created my team. The past few years helped raise me into who I am. I became a juggernaut on the field. Crushed beers and bunts with the best of them. Struck out more bitches than I ever could have imagined. Without the experiences I had there, I wouldn’t be able to do what I’m doing today. I’m doing this essay because I want

            This Thursday marks the final week of games in our Spring season. This has genuinely been a boring season. The games were remarkably predictable. The league is split between our current and former sponsor bar. OPT hasn't seen a kickball shirt since week 2. Stevey only had one flip out. Bez is about as much fun as shoveling snow now. I hope that Fall season brings a little more excitement. With all that being said, this should be the most exciting week of the season. We have the 4 teams that have been the best 4 teams all season. My perfect bracket is still in tact and I intend to keep it that way. Bar belt this week goes to Leah Jones. She got bicycle kicked by Joey, got staples in her head, felt good enough to come to Dewey's (what's your excuse everyone who couldn't make it out?), and almost beat the shit out of a bouncer's girlfriend at Amigo's while dropping C-bombs the whole way. The Final Four #1 Hand Made Love (7-0-1) vs. #4. Rum Riot

Lighthousers (aka the better league to be a part of)... We made it through the first week of playoffs, and although the total number of players has dropped off, the intensity has only grown. We are down to the last week of the Spring season, where champions are crowned and the losers spend the next couple months dreaming of what could have been, using a heartbreaking defeat in the playoffs as an excuse to be an alcoholic. For a select few of you, you'll be on top of the world, bragging to all your friends about how you won your kickball league, and then get pissed at them for not comprehending the weight of that title. For the rest of you, the next couple months will be tough... you will show up at Rivalries on a Thursday night dreaming of a time when your team will be there celebrating with the gold ball, silently telling yourself that next season will be the one. What happens these next 24 hours will determine which side of the picture you're on. How about some predictions...

                       The playoffs are here! I know the schedule says "Rain/make up week", but I assure you that we are at the point of the season where the games matter. So that means that ref abuse will be at an all time high and we'll probably see some tension and arguing... and that's just from the Lighthouse league. I'm gonna keep things fairly simple this week because we're just weeding out the losers.  Play In Games Pocket Pounders vs. Pitches Be Krazy These guys didn't meet in the regular season but were the only teams to forfeit. PP has shown flashes of skill and is by far the superior team. The only thing to worry about is if they show up at all (see: last week). PBK's got a lot of heart and at least attempts to field a full roster every week. If PP shows up they should win easily 8-0. The UntouchaBalls vs. Kick Tease Sparkles bunch tends to drink far too much and not really give two shits about the regular season. Then, the

Lighthousers! Playoffs are here. Now is the time to determine who won't be going to Vegas because we all play in the lighthouse league. So congrats to anyone who just so happens to be planning a trip to Vegas for no reason. Last week was pretty crazy. We had expected wins according to our predictions but what surprised us most is when the Tinderella's out sloshed the Misfits on and off the field. Thankfully for our beloved readers, the Gspot Crew is still intact; what started out as a challenge to the death between the two writers turned into Casey Kasem volunteering to die as Tribute, so you all can thank us for being able to get you LOL'ing at work. Truer words have never been spoken Hop, although I feel the CK Tribute might have been a little too soon. To correct our statement and protect our karma, R.I.P. Casey Kasem - thank you for taking the bullet (figuratively speaking) for the Gspot crew. The Gspot crew did indeed have a brief 5 hour fallout, but like the Eagles, P

         Mighty convenient of Hop to take last week off just to get rained out. Do you plan your kickball commissionerring around Joe Cupo's forecast? A lot of people asked why I took a couple weeks off and as much as I'd like to squash some rumors, I won't because I love hearing people complain. The real reason will come out soon anyways. Last time we played we were finally back at Dewey's (most of us have been going there since week 1). If I had to guess, I'd say Dewey's won the 2014 Fall Season bid for sponsor bar, just edging out Styxx (much to Mac's dismay), and Lucas Oil Stadium (WAKA don't like DUI's Jim). I'm sure Hopper will pick some other shitty bar in his ongoing quest to destroy the Superhero league anyway. There was quite a bit of action the last couple weeks that I'll do my best to see if I can remember. Power Rankings #10. Pitches Be Krazy - PBK got their official NDW welcome 2 weeks ago getting absolutely bludgeoned. I

Well, it appears the GSPOT team went a perfect 4 for 4 in last weeks predictions, as the first week that Corliss ran the show got rained out. Hopper is retaking the throne this week, but it appears there may be some lingering effects as it looks as though rain will make an appearance. With that being said, I've evaluated the Doppler and personally spoke to Al Roker, who guaranteed that kickball will be on. So here's some predictions... Ex Panthers vs Ball Busters These two teams met in the first week, and the BB's shocked the league by pulling off the week one upset. The Ex Panthers have made quite a few personnel changes since then, none more prominent than Captain Josh Moody retiring from his pitching duties. An inside source who requested to go unnamed stated this was the team's decision, and that Moody did not take it well, throwing a "temper-tantrum on the mound" which resulted in the team having to physically remove the kickball from his hands. Although

Lighthousers! We have arrived at Week 7, forever known as the week that was not meant to be. Maybe it's Hopper's lack of attendance this week, Corliss' bad luck finally catching up to us, or maybe even the derecho (thanks Joe Cupo) that is covering a quarter of the country. One thing is for certain.... it's going to rain harder than Hopper's tears after the Tinderellas were handed their first loss of the season by the S3XT Panthers. Surprisingly, my colleague was able to produce some recaps for us. Take it away Hop. Misfits V Swamp Donkeys: It is evident that the Swamp Donkeys are the Dark Horse in the League after last weeks matchup. The first few innings couldn't have looked any better for the Misfits as they came out with an early lead. It wasn't until James Moore rubbed his gingery patch on his face that the Donkeys got some good luck. They kicked it up a notch and ran the Misfits into the ground. Scott and Chris' email has been flowing with suggesti

Welcome to Week 6. This is the time of the season to look at how far your team has come, or in the Misfits and We Only Come From Behind's cases, ask what went wrong. By now, the great teams are playing out playoff seed scenarios, while the greatest teams are planning which brand of champagne to pop after the championship game. For a select few of you, the champagne bottles will become a reality, but most of you will only get to watch. Just enjoy the fact that all teams make the playoffs, so at least you can tell your mother that much, and with that, I'll let Hop lead us into the recaps... Fuck Recaps. If everyone wasn't using people dying for freedom as a chance to go on a 4 day bender than they aren't true Americans. Tinderellas beat Ball Busters in a close game 3-1. The game was about as exciting as AIDS (sorry to any of you that have it!). The Tindies continue their dominance.  Misfits played We've Got the Runs and lost 5-3. We've Got the Runs were down a bun

What's up LIGHTHOUSERS! This is a special week for the GSPOT crew, as we have a newcomer to the staff. Our very own Chris Hopper has now joined the team, making it his third official team (that we all know of) that he has joined that no one wanted him on. Congrats to Hopper, we are all thrilled to have the biggest ego'd/shortest man join the staff, and although your mother will be paying me $50 to allow you to write on this, I assure you, it played little into my decision. Besides, I've always been a philanthropist and have helped out the less fortunate, and I figured what better way to help out than to allow the runner-up of last year's Lighthouse League feel like he won something. So here's to you Hop - channel those tears pouring down your cheeks into writer's gold and welcome to the GSPOT. How about some recaps... S3XT Panthers (2) vs We've Got The Runs (0) The S3XT Panthers came out firing on all cylinders, much to the prediction of the GSPOT team, and

                  Here comes another installment of "Will. We. Play?". I'm feeling a little more optimistic this time around, but if we hear one rumble of thunder or see one flash of lightning then we will be playing unsponsored sloshball (j/k)! Last week was probably the most marquee set up for games we will see all season. Top 2, 3v4, two sloshball juggernauts. All the games lived up to the hype. This week a challenge has been issued by Talbot to the Lighthouse league. A 24 vs 24 dizzy bat relay race. For those of you who missed out last year, lucky for you I have a video with expert commentary. Quick takes this week, since I've been busy and people really only want to see the video below. Power Rankings #10. Pitches Be Krazy - Good to see these guys fielded a full team last week. Didn't do them much good, but they won the bar belt and that's all that really matters to me. #9. Kick Tease - Solid game against PP last week. May have set

What's up Lighthousers! I want to apologize up front for the briefness of this post - I bet my iPad that the Bruins beat the Canadiens in six.... and the rest of the story you can piece together yourself. For some reason, public libraries are packed in the morning and I had to wait to get an open computer. Regardless, persistence prevailed. No recaps this week because my teammates decided to make 3 gallons of mojitos and I can't remember my own game, let alone the others, and much to my surprise, no one sent in a recap of their game. So in lieu of the recaps, I thought this would be an appropriate time to update the power rankings. Power Rankings #1 (1) - S3XT Panthers - This may come as a shock to many people, given the fact that the Tinderellas have yet to lose a game and sport the best record in the league, but they have yet to play either of the Panther teams, and to be the best you must beat the best.   #2 (2) - Tinderellas - They've been consistent all year and have

            Hola! Get your Corona's ready and wax those dirty staches, because it's Ocho de Mayo week and it's beautiful out. This well be an action packed week. We've got sloshball, Bruins, the NFL draft, and a giant Matt Shaker pinata. Also, we have some of the best games you'll see all season. Last week was practically uneventful. All the teams that should have won, did (except NDW). Then only four people showed up to Pat's Pizza to rage and I'm pretty sure OPT was closed. I'll give the league a pass on last week because most of us thought we weren't playing. Don't be a MexiCan't tonight. Week 3 Power Rankings #10. Kick Tease - Rough start for these guys. Superhero league is a grind for new teams. You just got to push through and remember that some teams rarely win but have way more fun than some of the best teams.  #9. Pitches Be Krazy - Hopefully last week's forfeit was an anomaly. Hate to see people who are willing to show u

Lighthousers!!! How the hell is it Week 3 already? If you've done your job and represented your team to your best ability (i.e. partied), you shouldn't remember the first two weeks as well. If you're the type of person who has remembered it all, do not worry, because you have a great opportunity to change things this week with a Cinco de Mayo theme. Put on your best sombrero and fake mustache and relearn why you told yourself several years ago that you would never drink tequila again. How about some recaps. I would be cheating myself if I didn't take the time to mention I went a perfect 4 for 4 on predictions last week. I am now 6 for 8 on the year, giving me a better percentage than every weather man in the business. Surprisingly, I received a recap this week. There we still six other teams who chose to continue their string of consecutive weeks without sending in a recap. If I can say anything about your lack of effort, I'd say you're consistent. Lucky for you