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Showing posts from May, 2015

Week 7 or 3 or 6?

          Okay, so apparently it's Thursday and I need to keep my obligation to type this mildly offensive write up that no one reads but me 193 times a week. What we learned last week: NDW is human, Lighthouse might be in trouble the next three weeks, I am as good at predicting games as the Mayans are at predicting the end of days, and Fireball specials are a great way to have no one show up at OPT. We're at the point of the season where Superhero goes and mingles with Lighthouse. I'm supposed to avoid Lighthouse like I'm supposed to avoid elementary school playgrounds but,  that's not really my style... So I'll just apologize in advance. Any week could be strike two for me. Don't expect much in the rankings, unless you lose a kick away game against JV. Rankings will be short and brutal, but game predictions should make up for it! Week Whatever Rankings! #6. A Whole Shitload of Dead Weight What an absolute disaster last week... Between barely bea

Week 5

                               We've finally made it to the halfway point of the season. Hopefully you've got enough sick time to make it through the next half. Props to the prom committee (don't know, don't care) for setting up a great mid season disaster. There was an amazing amount of cross dressing. Jugs & Thugs thought they had the  garter  bar belt in the bag until a stretch Hummer rolled up and a sea of Canadian tuxedos paraded out. The curse of #2 continued (0-4), so we'll try a new team there this week. And shout out to AlcoBallix for being the first team (that I know of) warned for being over competitive. Enjoy your last chance at a win this season. Look forward to seeing you guys in Superhero next season! This week we have our first crossover game... Hopefully NDW can represent Superhero with dignity and mercy. Word on the street is there is a Fireball promo going on at Dewey's this week, because that's EXACTLY what we need. (I never say no

Week 4!

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          For the first time this season, I crossed the line. I said my apologies, got smacked, punched, kicked, kissed, blah blah blah so it's all over. I even went out of my way to be WAKA slut 2015. I've been told by Whitney Goodell to stick to Superhero. If you are in Lighthouse and want to be mentioned in the GMoT, you will need to: Do something stupid or worthy of a little poking fun at, AND get Whit to give me the okay to blast you. This is for entertainment only and I don't want that misunderstood!       Anyway! Things we learned last week: Jugs & Thugs are the best team not named NDW, no other team in this league likes winning apparently, Darcey turns into the incredible hulk when she drinks whiskey, and Superhero can totally out party Lighthouse. I didn't realize last week was "Bring a former player to the field" week. Shout out to Precious, B Monkey, K Monkey, D Monkey, J Shakes, Renee, and anyone else I missed/forgot/don't care about. Thi

Week 3!

                      Welcome to week 3! AKA bar games week. AKA it's finally going to be in the 70s week! By now you've realized just how old you are because you're in bed on a Friday night by 9PM. I hope I never feel that old! Things we learned in Week 2: The number 2 team on the rankings is a jinx (0-2) so far. Hand Made Love needs to change their name to Time to Retire. And, I need to retire the 2 beer solo cup. What's this I hear about a team complaining because an opposing pitcher was throwing too hard and bouncy? This isn't tee ball. Rule 7.0.1b states: A pitch can be delivered however the fuck the pitcher wants to deliver it. Since when is Lighthouse sponsored by Kleenex? That's supposed to be NDW's sponsor. Crossover weeks are coming up soon, so you better stock up! Power Rankings #6. Hand Made Love Atrocious start to the season. This has to be the first time HML has been ranked last since I started doing this. But, they earned it after gi