Week 1 Recaps

Portland Rum Riot 4 - Bruce Spring Teaing 0
Bruce Spring-Teaing may not have won on the kickball field, but we sure as hell won the fashion contest.  What do red bandanas, aviators, jorts, and jests have in common?  BRRUUUUCCCCEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!  And they look pretty damn good together when you mix in some twisted teas and some big red balls.  BRUCE saw many things last Thursday night: Merc's camel toe, Shane's Boss like Jest, Tasha's declicious jungle juice (with plastic ice cubes as to not water down the juice itself), and a few twisted tea races.  One thing we did not see were any runs scored against the tough Rum Riots, but we plan on changing that this week.  We have a tough matchup this week, but we're looking to dramatically shorten up our jorts so we can distract the pervs on NDW!
-The Law


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The Wak-a Shame 6 – Exotic Pet Owners 1

The newly formed Wak-A Shame took a step in the right direction in the season opener, taking down Exotic Pet Owners 6-1.  Right from the first inning it seemed that WAS was in control plating 3 runs constructed beautifully in the first.  With a rookie pitcher on the hill, who really knew what to expect, but with a solid ‘D behind him, it proved his rookie status wasn’t an issue. 

In the 3^rd was where the game could have gotten away from Wak-A Shame, plagued by a few throwing errors, it allowed EPO to get some base runners, but with 2 outs and runners on 2^nd and 3^rd, a fly ball dropped into RF, plating one, but with EPO’s roster mostly being new they tried to force the issue and waved the runner home.  The runner was gunned out at the plate from a masterful throw by our OF.

That momentum carried into the top half of the 4^th as WAS pushed 3 more runs across the plate, capped by Steve D’s cartwheel into home which served as an exclamation point on a solid opening night.    

-ma shakes 

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No Dead Weight 20 - Running On Empties 0

You're probably looking at the week on box score thinking, "Holy crap, some team scored 20 runs?" You're god damn right we did, in only 4 innings no less.

How is that possible you might ask? By blasting numerous kickballs into the swamp that happens to double as center field on field D.  After 1 inning NDW had a commanding lead of ~7-0 and Running on Empties had at least 2 players with wet shoes and socks (always a day ruiner) We managed to double that lead to ~14-0 after the 2nd inning. After a some witty Facebook trash talk earlier in the day, Jason Sparks lived up to his prediction of not walking anyone, but he sure did serve up plenty of meatballs right over the plate. Not sure it was the best strategy, but no one makes Sparks look like a liar, not even himself. Also worth noting, Ryan Houghton pitched 2 innings without a walk, so maybe Ryan can make Sparks look like a liar. 

Sometime in the later innings, there was collision in right center which resulted in a pair of soaking wet pants and upped our wet shoes and socks count to at least 3 while adding a few runs to the NDW tally.

11-3 Prediction? 2012 NDW is going to be the equivalent of the 2007 regular season New England Patriots, take the over and take the cover 

Up next on the docket is Bruce Spring-Teaing and their nut hugging jorts. Last season they publicly announced they don't like at least part of our team (Griffin, Brandon) so we'll see if they can step their game up out of sheer hatred for all things Brandon and keep us under the run rule.

-Dorsey