Week 4 Power Rankings

Three weeks down, four (or 5) to go. This week we our beloved No Dead Weight is off to Vegas for the Founder's Cup tournament. So it should be nice and quiet on the fields. Scotty will be standing in as acting commissioner so I'm sure kickball will be cancelled. This week I'll be introducing my KBCS Standings (Kickball BCS) instead of your "Not Quite WAKA Approved" standings. You can always see that crap on the website even though it's wrong and NDW shouldn't have taken that forfeit. Also, congratulations to Kristina Griffin for popping the question and BShaw for saying yes! I saw the ring, it looks great on you Brandon. One down two to go! Anyways, on to the fun!

Week 3 Scores & Notes

NDW (2-1) 1, WAKA Shame (0-3) 0

Good timing for NDW's best defensive game seeing as WS's was almost equally as impressive.

That's What She Said (2-1) 9, Balls Deep (0-3) 2

TWSS continues to take advantage of their schedule, dispatching BD easily.

Tea Tea Twisters (2-1) 4, Rum Riot (2-1) 3

Tea Tea's pull the mini upset as Shane proves that you can take a player off NDW but you can't take the NDW out of him.

Muff N Men (2-1) 2, Roll Another Bunt (0-3) 1

Another walk off win for the Muffs. Keep this up and the entire team will have grey hair by season's end.

Swamp Donkeys (2-1) 12, Lucky Strike (0-3) 2

The Donks brought their C game last week which was more than enough.

Brazzers (2-0-1) 2, Gronki-Punch (1-1-1) 2

JSparks pitched out of plenty of trouble but couldn't prevent one run in the 5th for our first tie of the season.

The Aristocrats (3-0) 13, We Play With Moobs (2-1) 1

Aristocrats are the only 3-0 team in the league. Pretty convincing beatdown here.

Inaugural Kickball BCS Rankings

Similar the College Football's rankings of the same name. I used a formula based on your WAKA rank, Power Rank, strength of schedule, and quality of runs allowed. If you're confused why an 0-3 team ranks ahead of a couple 2-1 teams it's because of the quality of runs allowed. If my team allows 5 runs over 3 games to the top 3 teams and your team allows 5 runs to the 3 lowest rank teams then my team "should" be better. Don't ask me to explain it any more please because I'll probably be drunk. Here goes. 2,900 points is perfect. Maybe this will catch on and get on the WAKA website.

1. NDW (2-1)                                 2,523

2. The Aristocrats (3-0)               2,365

3. Rum Riot (2-1)                          2,293

4. Twisted Tea Tea's (2-1)          2,273

5. Muff N Men (2-1)                     2,092

6. Brazzers (2-0-1)                       2,057

7. Gronki-Punch (1-1-1)              1,993

8. WAKA Shame (0-3)                  1,953

9. We Play With Moobs (2-1)      1,742

10. Swamp Donkeys (2-1)           1,723

11. That's What She Said (2-1)   1,690

12. Roll Another Bunt (0-3)          1,582

13. Lucky Strike (0-3)                   1,103

14. Balls Deep (0-3)                       1,022

Now, on to the power rankings!

#1. No Dead Weight (Last week: 2, +1)

The offense is still a bit shaky but the defense looks great going into Vegas week. Thanks to a Rum Riot loss, NDW is back in the top spot. 

#2. Rum Riot (Last week: 1, -1)

Tough loss this week to the Tea Tea's. Look for a solid rebound in the next few weeks as Rum Riot hits the easy portion of their schedule.

#3. Tea Tea Twisters (Last week: 5, +2)

Big time win for the Hoffs. Despite having the longest rule dispute in WAKA history.

#4. The Aristocrats (Last week:4, NC)

This team keeps piling on the runs beating on a formerly undefeated team. Definitely looking forward to seeing them challenged.

#5. Brazzers (Last week: 3, -2)

Bases loaded with no outs 3 times last week and only one run to show for it. The Porn Stars have some offensive glitches to figure out because tying is for poor people.

#6. Muff N Men (Last week: 7, +1)

A not so convincing win against a team that probably is better than their record shows doesn't move you up much.

#7. Gronki-Punch (Last week: 9, +2)

Defense was decent. Pitching was sloppy but effective. But the Gronks need to score runs to win games.

#8. Swamp Donkeys (Last week: 10,  +2)

Playing your starters and pitching your ace against the statistically worst team should translate into a shut out.

#9. WAKA Shame (Last week: 8, -1)

This team is bound to turn things around after 3 losses to the 3 top teams. Captain Shakes needs to start giving out shots as rewards for scoring runs.

#10. We Play With Moobs (Last week: 6, -4)

The Moobies got crushed last week and now has that "nobody believes is us" mojo back on their side.

#11. That's What She Said (Last week: 11, NC)

2-1 record with the 3rd easiest strength of schedule. I want to see more out of these guys before I can move them up.

#12. Roll Another Bunt (Last week: 12, NC)

The stoners haven't had the easiest of schedules but have been competitive each game. I see this losing streak coming to an end soon (not this week).

#13. Balls Deep (Last week: 13, NC)

Lots and lots of run allowed. Could be a long season if that keeps up.

#14. Lucky Strike (Last week: 14, NC)

The only hope for these guys right now is to play Balls Deep or a rain out.

A Look Ahead

6:00 PM

#3 Tea Tea Twisters vs. #6 Muff N Men

Their big win against the former top team will be the start of a hot streak for the Twisters as they win 4-2.

#10 We Play With Moobs vs. #14 Lucky Strike

I have a feeling this will be one of those games both teams agree to kicking only. Should keep the score down. Moobies win 6-1.

6:55 PM

#7 Gronki-Punch vs. #8 Swamp Donkeys

Rumor has it that the Gronks pitcher, catcher, and charger will all be here this week. I see the score of this one being low. Gronks pull it out 3-1.

#13. Balls Deep vs. #14 Lucky Strike

Lucky's 2nd game of the night may be their most winnable one of the season. I see the 6pm game as solid practice and Lucky pulls the mini upset 5-4.

#2. Rum Riot vs. #5 Brazzers

Game of the week! Rum Riot will be looking to rebound after last week and I just don't trust the Porn Stars' defense. Riot takes it 6-2.

7:50 PM

#9 WAKA Shame vs. #12 Roll Another Bunt

This should be a rather convincing win as WAKA Shame blows off some steam. 9-2.

#4 The Aristocrats vs. #11 That's What She Said

The Aristocrats have already shown they can beat down teams that would probably be playing in the Lighthouse league if there was one. That trend should continue. 10-1.

Good luck to No Dead Weight in Vegas this weekend! Since I had the (pleasure?) of playing with you guys in New York, I thought I would give you some words of wisdom.

Kathy Ho: You are required to do a velvet elvis shot prior to every game. You only drop balls when you're sober.

JR Ho: You don't have to run if there are less than 2 outs. Let the ball hit the ground before you go from first to home in 3.5 seconds.

Bez: If you have 2 strikes on you, don't watch strike 3 roll on by. I'm sure it won't be Justin Verlander pitching so you will have plenty of time to react.

Dahcy: I know I won't be there to scream at so if somehow I piss you off from across the country feel free to call and scream at me.

Papi: See if you can make it back with both arms and legs attached. Also, aside from the tournament, promise me you'll be sober for at least 20 minutes of your trip.

BShaw: Please take KShaw to the nicest drive through chapel in the city and give her the wedding of her dreams. Congrats guys!

Thanks for reading!

-Sparks

Last week 4-2-1

Overall 15-5-1