Week 7 or 3 or 6?
Okay, so apparently it's Thursday and I need to keep my obligation to type this mildly offensive write up that no one reads but me 193 times a week. What we learned last week: NDW is human, Lighthouse might be in trouble the next three weeks, I am as good at predicting games as the Mayans are at predicting the end of days, and Fireball specials are a great way to have no one show up at OPT. We're at the point of the season where Superhero goes and mingles with Lighthouse. I'm supposed to avoid Lighthouse like I'm supposed to avoid elementary school playgrounds but, that's not really my style... So I'll just apologize in advance. Any week could be strike two for me. Don't expect much in the rankings, unless you lose a kick away game against JV. Rankings will be short and brutal, but game predictions should make up for it!
Week Whatever Rankings!
#6. A Whole Shitload of Dead Weight
What an absolute disaster last week... Between barely beating the Lighthouse team and losing to a bunch of scrubs in denim, I just think NDW might be ready to call it quits. So glad I remember nothing after 430pm last week.
#5. Hand Made We Quit
The name says it all. These guys went from thinking they were going to forfeit to playing like a bag of dicks. Forfeiting would make you look better.
#4. Tinderellas Wannabes
Yay for the "Tindies" who got their first win against a team that's pretty much given up on the season. Good job. Enjoy your Lighthouse games.
#3. Jugs & Outs
Every time you think a team is going to make that leap to championship potential they just shit their pants. The Jugs have needed diapers since week 3.
#2. Scum Riot
No idea what to make of these guys. Just terrible most weeks, then great another week. It's getting hard to tell the contenders from the frauds this season.
#1. Balls on my Chin
The future champions have emerged. Let's just get the gold ball and put it on your shin right now! After an absolute murder of NDW, there's no question who the tits of the league is.
This Week In Kickball
Balls on your Shin (-5) v. Swamp Donkeys
The Balls have been on a tear lately, pretty much steamrolling everyone they come across. Don't really think things will change this week. KSarge has some veterans on the team and if Wade shows, he is always a home run threat unless he stops at 2nd and tries to sell you a house. BoyS win 7-2.
Tinder Rejects (-1) v. We Only Come from Behind
I have no idea why I set the spread so low on this one... This is probably going to be a blow out. Shaker's squad has been looking forward to these kick away games since he looked at his roster and saw a first round playoff exit. WOCfB is the current #1 Lighthouse team, which is like being the best vacuum, sure you're the best, but you still suck. Tindies win 3-2.
Jugs & Thugs (-4) v. WEX'n'effect
This would be my top candidate for a sloshball game, but I'm not 100% sure who Wex is. This has blow out potential and probably will be if Casey's torn taint has healed fully. 5-1 Jugs.
Hand Made Love (-7) v. Misfits
This isn't as much of a compliment to HML as it looks. Misfits totally party and live the dream on the field, but HML is out for blood this week. HML 8-1.
No Dead Weight (-5) v. Nuke Hunt
NH is a solid kicking team for sure but they get NDW coming off a loss and that's usually bad news. Especially once my teammates read this week's rankings. I'm thinking 5 is generous but with kick away you never know. 6-1.
Rum Riot (-8) v. AlcoBallix
Rum Riot almost played in Lighthouse, which probably wouldn't have been fair for anyone. They have some big boots in Pierce and Oli and a good defense. Ballix have a limited roster and their captain is sidelined with a torn filopian tube. She told ESPN's Adam Schefter that her team "cannot win without her". RR wins 9-1
Cya on the fields!
What an absolute disaster last week... Between barely beating the Lighthouse team and losing to a bunch of scrubs in denim, I just think NDW might be ready to call it quits. So glad I remember nothing after 430pm last week.
#5. Hand Made We Quit
The name says it all. These guys went from thinking they were going to forfeit to playing like a bag of dicks. Forfeiting would make you look better.
#4. Tinderellas Wannabes
Yay for the "Tindies" who got their first win against a team that's pretty much given up on the season. Good job. Enjoy your Lighthouse games.
#3. Jugs & Outs
Every time you think a team is going to make that leap to championship potential they just shit their pants. The Jugs have needed diapers since week 3.
#2. Scum Riot
No idea what to make of these guys. Just terrible most weeks, then great another week. It's getting hard to tell the contenders from the frauds this season.
#1. Balls on my Chin
The future champions have emerged. Let's just get the gold ball and put it on your shin right now! After an absolute murder of NDW, there's no question who the tits of the league is.
This Week In Kickball
Balls on your Shin (-5) v. Swamp Donkeys
The Balls have been on a tear lately, pretty much steamrolling everyone they come across. Don't really think things will change this week. KSarge has some veterans on the team and if Wade shows, he is always a home run threat unless he stops at 2nd and tries to sell you a house. BoyS win 7-2.
Tinder Rejects (-1) v. We Only Come from Behind
I have no idea why I set the spread so low on this one... This is probably going to be a blow out. Shaker's squad has been looking forward to these kick away games since he looked at his roster and saw a first round playoff exit. WOCfB is the current #1 Lighthouse team, which is like being the best vacuum, sure you're the best, but you still suck. Tindies win 3-2.
Jugs & Thugs (-4) v. WEX'n'effect
This would be my top candidate for a sloshball game, but I'm not 100% sure who Wex is. This has blow out potential and probably will be if Casey's torn taint has healed fully. 5-1 Jugs.
Hand Made Love (-7) v. Misfits
This isn't as much of a compliment to HML as it looks. Misfits totally party and live the dream on the field, but HML is out for blood this week. HML 8-1.
No Dead Weight (-5) v. Nuke Hunt
NH is a solid kicking team for sure but they get NDW coming off a loss and that's usually bad news. Especially once my teammates read this week's rankings. I'm thinking 5 is generous but with kick away you never know. 6-1.
Rum Riot (-8) v. AlcoBallix
Rum Riot almost played in Lighthouse, which probably wouldn't have been fair for anyone. They have some big boots in Pierce and Oli and a good defense. Ballix have a limited roster and their captain is sidelined with a torn filopian tube. She told ESPN's Adam Schefter that her team "cannot win without her". RR wins 9-1
Cya on the fields!
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