Week 4!
For the first time this season, I crossed the line. I said my apologies, got smacked, punched, kicked, kissed, blah blah blah so it's all over. I even went out of my way to be WAKA slut 2015. I've been told by Whitney Goodell to stick to Superhero. If you are in Lighthouse and want to be mentioned in the GMoT, you will need to: Do something stupid or worthy of a little poking fun at, AND get Whit to give me the okay to blast you. This is for entertainment only and I don't want that misunderstood!
Anyway! Things we learned last week: Jugs & Thugs are the best team not named NDW, no other team in this league likes winning apparently, Darcey turns into the incredible hulk when she drinks whiskey, and Superhero can totally out party Lighthouse. I didn't realize last week was "Bring a former player to the field" week. Shout out to Precious, B Monkey, K Monkey, D Monkey, J Shakes, Renee, and anyone else I missed/forgot/don't care about. This week is prom themed, which means guys like Shaker, Stevey and myself get to relive past disappointments of going alone. There is hope as I hear Bezra Kardashian and Tristan McCarthy haven't got dates yet!
Anyway! Things we learned last week: Jugs & Thugs are the best team not named NDW, no other team in this league likes winning apparently, Darcey turns into the incredible hulk when she drinks whiskey, and Superhero can totally out party Lighthouse. I didn't realize last week was "Bring a former player to the field" week. Shout out to Precious, B Monkey, K Monkey, D Monkey, J Shakes, Renee, and anyone else I missed/forgot/don't care about. This week is prom themed, which means guys like Shaker, Stevey and myself get to relive past disappointments of going alone. There is hope as I hear Bezra Kardashian and Tristan McCarthy haven't got dates yet!
Week 4 Power Rankings
#6. Hand Made Love
Umm... I've got nothing. HML is just awful. They are looking at a team demotion to AAA Lighthouse next season. Sometimes, you've got to know when to hang em up. It's like watching Shaq hop out there for the Celts trying to play on one foot.
Umm... I've got nothing. HML is just awful. They are looking at a team demotion to AAA Lighthouse next season. Sometimes, you've got to know when to hang em up. It's like watching Shaq hop out there for the Celts trying to play on one foot.
#5. Tinder Rejects
Shaker is still wondering how the Tindies let a Rum Riot stinker game slip away. And Matty McLean is still wondering why he has rug burns on his knees and his asshole hurts. Greg was sad to not be mentioned last week so I'll congratulate him on being the first person this season to almost rip my ring out (I think).
Shaker is still wondering how the Tindies let a Rum Riot stinker game slip away. And Matty McLean is still wondering why he has rug burns on his knees and his asshole hurts. Greg was sad to not be mentioned last week so I'll congratulate him on being the first person this season to almost rip my ring out (I think).
#4. Balls on your Shin
Denim. Closing the fields playing Klam Jam. Crushing karaoke. Closing OPT. And a tie... Could've been a perfect week for the Balls. Normally a tie against HML is something to brag about, but unfortunately this season they suck and that's not the case.
Denim. Closing the fields playing Klam Jam. Crushing karaoke. Closing OPT. And a tie... Could've been a perfect week for the Balls. Normally a tie against HML is something to brag about, but unfortunately this season they suck and that's not the case.
#3. Rum Riot
Rum Riot got walked so many times that Ducati was jealous and still managed to only scrape by with a tie. Base running blunders and not being able to kick Shaker's eephus pitches didn't help much either. Hopefully they can get back on track this week against... lemme check... yeah never mind.
Rum Riot got walked so many times that Ducati was jealous and still managed to only scrape by with a tie. Base running blunders and not being able to kick Shaker's eephus pitches didn't help much either. Hopefully they can get back on track this week against... lemme check... yeah never mind.
#2. Jugs & Thugs
The Jugs remain #2 despite being the only Superhero team to lose this week. They played a great game defensively and like most teams, couldn't get much going offensively against NDW. Their only critical mistake was not walking Deez and allowing NDW to lead off the 5th with its top. We did get our first temper tantrum of the season from Talbot, who was totally wrong and apologized like 5 days later.
The Jugs remain #2 despite being the only Superhero team to lose this week. They played a great game defensively and like most teams, couldn't get much going offensively against NDW. Their only critical mistake was not walking Deez and allowing NDW to lead off the 5th with its top. We did get our first temper tantrum of the season from Talbot, who was totally wrong and apologized like 5 days later.
#1. No Dead Weight
Not much more can be said. E made her season debut and so did angry Darcey slurping areola and trying to murder Shane. Bez is back to being accused of encroaching every play, and Papi even got someone out. Even I apparently slobbered over half the bar last week and didn't discriminate (where's the proof? Oh wait..). Should be another good game this week against Rum Riot.
Not much more can be said. E made her season debut and so did angry Darcey slurping areola and trying to murder Shane. Bez is back to being accused of encroaching every play, and Papi even got someone out. Even I apparently slobbered over half the bar last week and didn't discriminate (where's the proof? Oh wait..). Should be another good game this week against Rum Riot.
This Week's Games
No Dead Weight (-3) v. Rum Riot
This has that sneaky Rum Riot shows up to play feels. I don't think it's going to be enough either way as NDW is just on a mission to 3peat. 4-1.
Tinder Rejects (-1) v. Balls on your Shin
I'm not sure if I'm overrating the Tindies or underrating BoyS or both, but I just feel like TR is starting to figure it out a bit. There seems to be one game each week that could go both ways (zip it!) and this one is it. 3-2.
Jugs & Thugs (-2) v. Hand Made Love
Jugs have looked good thus far and HML has looked light a Lighthouse team. Granted I don't think they've had their whole roster once or one person from their team show up at Dewey's. Jugs win 3-1.
Got anything you'd like to see in the GMoT? Email: mainegmot@gmail.com
Cya Thursday and remember, arms length apart when dancing.
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