Week 5 Predictions

Week 5 predictions are here, unfortunately, Ryan Faley (NASCAR Superfan and white trash aficionado) is not this week. Since I'm a man of the people and someone asked for actual team names a few weeks ago, I put them in. So feel free to throw that team name index away. Not that I'm keeping track, but let the record show I went 8-0 last week in games that didn't end in a shameful, sister kissing tie. I blame Steve Ginn for showing up and helping Exotic Pet Owners save face after their Captain (Faley) abandoned them like a teenage mother to take an 8 week vacation. Steve's not there, I go 9-0, no doubt.

 

Lighthouse:

Roll Another Bunt vs East Bound and Down: There are few things I'll never grow tired of, the combo of Kenny Fing Powers and Kickball is one of them. It works on so many levels. Also worth noting the neon green team put 17 runs on the board last week. Roll Another Bunt dropped a 1 run decision. I still can't past their ironic name as they are in the kick only division. East Bound and Down 9-4

 

Pitches Be Crazy vs Old But Still Kicking: Pitches has played 3 games, all decided by 1 run. I also watched them boot like 4 balls deep into the field my game was taking place on, so that must mean they can kick it pretty well. Old But Still Kicking meanwhile ran up against the class of the Lighthouse division and still managed 4 runs. I see this one as close but I think Pitches will take it. Pitches be Crazy: 4-3

 

Sex Panther vs That's What She Said: As stated in previous predictions, Sex Panther is legit. Right now the road to the Lighthouse title runs through them. I think their firepower will overwhelm That's What She Said, who has had some spotty offensive production posting 9 runs over 3 games. To keep up with Sex Panther, they'll have to have an offensive explosion since they won't keep them off the board. Sex Panther 9-3

 

Victorious Secret vs Kick In A Box: I wish I had some good insight here but after seeing a 17-0 score line, I don't think Victorious will bounce back this week to get their first W. I do think they will fare much better but will still come up short. Kick In A Box 8-2

 

Superhero:

Balled and Beautiful vs Swamp Donkeys: 2 teams both looking for their first win, Swamp Donkeys have the experience edge, but Balled is most likely working their way up the steep learning curve. They have 2 chances to get a win this week so will they be hungry to get it in the early game? I say yes. Balled and Beautiful 4-3

 

Down To Get Weird vs Running on Empties: Sparks' crew also has 2 chances to get in the win column this week. Unfortunately they have a tougher double header than the pink team. Down To Get Weird is also hungry for a win after a season of high expectations has sputtered out of the gate. I don't think a win this week rights the ship (They are having a lot of trouble scoring), but they will pull it out anyways. DTGW 4-1

 

Running on Empties vs Balled and Beautiful: Assuming I'm right, (8 wins last week!) Balled should have their first win by the time the first pitch rolls around. Sparks will also be pitching his second game which means he might have had more than 5 Sprite Zeroes at that point. Put the pink momentum together with Empties' empties and I see Balled and Beautiful rattling off 2 Ws this week to climb to the middle of the table. Seriously Pink, don't screw me here. Balled and Beautiful 6-2

 

Bruce Spring-Teaing vs Exotic Pet Owners: I, for one, am downright giddy to see what Spring-teaing shows up wearing this week. They were a little lax last week on attire, but this week should be right in their wheelhouse. I half expect them to have a Dale Earnhardt card board cutout playing RF. The Pet Owners could be rocking some serious NASCAR steeze as well, but without Faley, you'll just be thinking that they could've done a lot better. As far as the game is concerned, if Steve Ginn shows up Pet Owners should win, if he doesn't (and I don't think he will) I got the Jorts Warriors. Bruce Spring Teaing 7-4

 

Wak-a Shame vs Portland Rum Riot: Any game that pits 2 top 3 teams together qualifies for the game of the week. Second huge game in a row for Rum Riot, and Wak-a Shame looks to cement themselves as a serious contender. Looking at the rosters, I just think Rum Riot will able to score more than Wak-a Shame. They have a solid top of the line-up that pose problems for every defense. I expect both teams to play good, mistake free, D so Rum Riot gets the edge with a more potent offense. Rum Riot 5-3

 

NDW vs Catch Her in The Eye: Week 3 and we have our first "Riding a bit too high" team vs NDW. Usually these games take the whole season to happen and then a team that's 6-0 thanks to a soft schedule gets smacked 14-0 and everyone wonders what the heck just happened. Word on the street is NDW is looking light this week, like might be playing with 9 or 10 people. Normally that might be an issue, but what it really means is that NDW's potent line-up should be churning all night. They might be able to bat around every inning. If Catch Her in the Eye can limit the NDW line-up to 3 at bats, they have a chance, if not, it's going to be a rough rest of the season as they have 3 more tough teams. If Catch Her in The Eye can win easily, this might signal a changing of the guard* in the Superhero division. NDW 8-2

-Dorsey

 

*I only put that in not to sound too biased, I don't actually think they can win at all, never mind easily