Week 3 Power Rankings

Well, we have 2 weeks in the books this season. Got to give the commish credit last week. Everything ran smoothly despite Kathleen blacking out by 9:00 pm. Though, something needs to be done about these replacement refs. The reffing has been atrocious and I've heard nothing but complaints so far. (Edit: Apparently I'm the only ref being complained about... Well, my response to that is sorry for partying.)

If you see me on the fields this week, don't be fooled, it's not me. I hired an actor to be me this week. I'm currently in protective custody after receiving death threats from Stevey's infant son (more on this later). So I hired a cheap, out of work actor, who happens to look just like me. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Hopefully I will return next week to ruin some more teams nights. Anyway, on to the rankings.

Week 2 Scores and Notes

Brazzers (2-0) 11, Roll Another Bunt (0-2) 5

Porn stars taking care of business. Kind of surprised they gave up this many runs though.

Muff N Men (1-1) 2, Gronki-Punch (1-1) 1

The Muffs defense looked really good and the Gronks offense looked like turd. Maybe we need to drink more.

The Aristocrats (2-0) 8, Swamp Donkeys (1-1) 5

The wet conditions drove up the score of this game. Plenty of errors by both teams. I think they only completed 2 innings. Stupid ref.

That's What She Said (1-1) 3, Lucky Strike (0-2) 1

Gotta give Lucky's defense some credit for not giving up 319 runs this week.

We Play With Moobs (2-0) 4, Balls Deep (0-2) 3

Good job by the Moobies going to 2-0. Maybe making fun of them has instilled some motivation

NDW (1-1*) 8, Tea Tea Twisters (1-1) 2

Dominating win despite being down to their 13th string pitcher. Heard a rumor that NDW had fun last week. 

Rum Riot (2-0*) 4, WAKA Shame (0-2) 3

A couple potentially questionable calls in this game. The NFL has ruled that they stand by the refs and will not change the outcome of this game.

*Ghost Man on Third does not recognize forfeits that occur after your team has already lost. These desperation moves are not cool. My rankings reflect real results. Though the "official" rankings are controlled by Roger Goode... err WAKA.

(Probably Not) WAKA Approved Standings

                                         W   L    RA  RS     RD

The Aristocrats              2 - 0     5    37    +32

Rum Riot                         2 - 0     5     9      +4

We Play With Moobs     2 - 0     5     8      +3

Brazzers                          2 - 0     7    17    +10

Gronki-Punch                 1 - 1     4     5      +1

That's What She Said    1 - 1     5     5       0

No Dead Weight             1 - 1     7    10     +3

Muff N Men                     1 - 1     7     4      -3

Tea Tea Twisters            1 - 1     9     6      -3

Swamp Donkeys            1 - 1    11   23    +12

WAKA Shame                 0 - 2     8     4       -4

Roll Another Bunt          0 - 2    15    7       -8

Balls Deep                       0 - 2    22    6     -16

Lucky Strike                    0 - 2    32    1     -31

Week 3 Power Rankings

#1. Rum Riot (Last week:1, NC)

Solid showing from the top team. Possibly an assist from the refs too. If the league had checked the head refs Facebook, they would've noticed the in the head refs profile pic he is wearing Rum Riot colors. Anyway, the defense looks solid and they are poised for a playoff bye.

#2. No Dead Weight (Last week:2, +1)

With Bez "The Indian Minion" slinging people out at charger, these guys should be unbeatable. Just kidding... As long as NDW keeps their emotions in check and has a little fun this is a borderline super team.

#3. Brazzers (Last week:6, +3)

The Porn Stars are out to prove they can roll with the big teams. Unfortunately until they play some better competition this is about as high as they go.

#4. The Aristocrats (Last week:5, +1)

Solid team with some sure talent at the female positions. Wet grass is their early weakness. Looking forward to seeing them play some top tier teams.

#5. Tea Tea Twisters (Last week:2, -3)

Hoff did not approve of the butt kicking the Tea Tea's took at the hands of NDW. Curious to see which team shows up this week.

#6. We Play With Moobs (Last week:9, +3)

The Moobies are 2-0 despite being threatened by Balls Deep. Showing them a little respect this week.

#7. Muff N Men (Last week:10, +3)

The Muffs played a solid game this past week, beating a supposed good team. Gotta make more hello shots this week though. I didn't get any last time.

#8. WAKA Shame (Last week:7, -1)

Not easy starting the season with the schedule these guys have. Doesn't get any better this week with an early game against NDW. I promise I won't be reffing this game guys!

#9. Gronki-Punch (Last week:4, -5)

Miserable showing from the offense earns the Gronks my biggest drop this week. Maybe when the Mac actually makes an appearance this season things will get rolling.

#10. Swamp Donkeys (Last week:8, -2)

The Donks looked vulnerable on defense last week. Larry Bruni wasn't even enough to stop the mistakes.

#11. That's What She Said (Last week:12, +1)

TWSS picked up their first win last week. Beating on the weaker teams won't climb you up the rankings quickly. But it will help your playoff seeding!

#12. Roll Another Bunt (Last week:11, -1)

Tough start to the season for the team new to bunting. Can't see them this close to the bottom by season's end though.

#13. Balls Deep (Last week:13, NC)

Sounded like an exciting game last week with the Moobies. But a loss is a loss and you can't move up without winning.

#14. Lucky Strike (Last week:14, NC)

Definitely an improvement over week one. Hard not to though.

A Look Ahead

6:00PM

#2 NDW vs. #8 WAKA Shame

NDW has been practicing feverishly since their week one loss. Practice will pay off as they win 6-2.

#11 That's What She Says vs. #13 Balls Deep

Mini upset of the week here. Thinking BD figures out how to play this week. BD wins 5-2.

6:55PM

#1 Rum Riot vs. #5 Tea Tea Twisters

Rum Riot's defense will be too much for the TT's. The offense will do just enough as usual. Riot stays unbeaten 3-1.

#10 Swamp Donkeys vs. #14 Lucky Strike

The Donks offense will be too much for Lucky this week. They cruise easily 11-1.

#7 Muff N Men vs. #12. Roll Another Bunt

The Muffs defense should hold the lefties at bay and the offense won't need much. Muffs win 4-1.

7:50PM

#4 The Aristocrats vs. #6 We Play With Moobs

This is a good test for the Moobies but I think TA is a better team and should win. 6-2.

#3 Brazzers vs. #9 Gronki-Punch

The Gronks haven't had their full line up show up yet this season. I'm picking this as my big upset of the week. Gronks win 4-2.

Last week 6-1

Season 11-3

Until next week! Thanks for reading.

-Sparks