Week 3 Lighthouse League

Given the washout of last week, the GSPOT team had an opportunity to sit down and catch up on some fan mail and answer some hard-nosed questions about how we come up with our predictions. Our pick for the best question of the week comes from Ricky in Topeka, Kansas, cell block 4217. 

Ricky writes, "Whats up GSPOT - my bottom B and I were wondering how you come up with your predictions each week. It would seem like you would stand a better chance of getting the games right if you polled a group of senior citizens."

Great question Ricky - love the enthusiasm, and thanks for reading. The GSPOT team does hours and hours of research, crunching numbers and watching CNN, monitoring stocks and bonds and other smart things to come up with our final predictions. We play Bingo with each team assigned a card, Monopoly with each team a specific piece and Sorry because we enjoy the game. As with any forecast, mistakes are made, but obviously none worse than the one you made. We hope that you and your bottom B enjoy our next update, and have included a pack of cigarettes for you to enjoy. Thanks again!

We at GSPOT know the readers are what makes us strive to write inspiring things, so it's always good to give back to them when you can. With that being said, please enjoy Week 3's installment for all your reading pleasure.

SD vs. WFI:

After one week of play, the entire league is still waiting for it. The team left everyone in the dark after their first performance, and we don't even know if what we're waiting for is anything worthwhile. In all seriousness, these two teams have managed just one run in each of their debuts. Both teams should just agree on sloshball now so that way you have a built in excuse when the game ends in a 0-0 tie, which has surprisingly never happened in the history of WAKA (please don't check our sources), so you'll have that going for you. We actually think that Swamp Donkeys will be right at home with the transients and street walkers down at Deering Oaks Park and win this game 4-0 but I guess we will all just have to.... Wait For It..... see what happens.

SD vs. PU:

This is quite possibly the game of the week, not because it's two power houses squaring off, but because at least one of these teams will be able to say they won at least one game this season by the end of the night. This one will be a defensive showcase (not) where PU won't be able to get out of their own way since they'll start drinking around 11:00AM (don't you clowns have real jobs?) Word on the street is Brian Sing has 18 challengers lined up at 5:45 (all of which are not in the kickball league) next to the Preble Street Food Pantry to square off for his Chug-Off Champ title, which does not bode well for the PU's, given the fact they have publicly stated they are upping the ante with 4 Gatorade jugs for Week 3. We predict SD to capitalize on PU's lack of hand eye coordination and motor skills and dominate 8-2.

SSP vs PU:

SSP is coming off an impressive back-to-back win night, while PU is looking to regain composure after being rocked back by WOCFB in Week 1. This is your classic Tyson / Holyfield bout... with a lot more booze and facial tattoos. We can't even rule out an ear attack, given that WAKA's rulebook does not clearly state that is illegal. If both these teams show up to throw down in an epic way, expect some fireworks (mostly because we broke into Hadlock and have them going off around 8:20PM). In a closely contested game, we have PU coming out of their blackout late, winning in a last inning comeback 4-3.

WOCFB vs KD:

The stats couldn't be tighter with this match-up. Both teams are 1-0 on the season... both managed to push 2 runs across the plate while holding their opponents to 1... both teams have 7 right-handers, 4 left-handers and 2 ambidextrous freaks (the latter has yet to be verified). The real difference between these two teams is experience. The dog kickers were inspired by their fellow anti-PETA President Mike Vick in his dominance on Sunday and will be looking to take that momentum onto the field, however, WOCFB (huge dog lovers) stand in their way. We anticipate this to be a dog fight (last one, I promise) with WOCFB walking away with the top-dog (sorry) honors - WOCFB 2-1.

POWER RANKINGS:

#1 : SMOOSH SMOOSH

#2: WE ONLY COME FROM BEHIND

#3: PREPARE URANUS

#4: KICK DOG

#5: SWAMP DONKEYS

#6: WAIT FOR IT

That's all for Week 3 kids. Be smart, don't stumble through Grant/Sherman St. after the games (unless you're armed), and spend lots of money at $3 Dewey's. Send in your recaps and weekly questions (we'll post them, trust us) to mainegmot@gmail.com (pictures as well). 

You stay classy Lighthouse.

-GSPOT