Week 3 Rankings
What the fuck happened last week? No, really, I blacked out, what happened? Our first week out of the swamp and we have upsets galore and complete rankings armageddon. The prospect of an undefeated team is gone after 2 weeks as Muff Without 2 Men, Presturd Worldwide and Hand Made Loss all went down without a fight. FTB remained defeated and Rum Riot and MDC played an immensely boring game. We had our first trade this season (more on that later), and my bright pink shirt and American flag bandana probably won me "Best Dressed" for the first week of bowling (they'll think I'm homeless when I've worn it 6 weeks in a row). Anyway, on to the rankings!
#8. Fall-Tea Balls (0-2) (LW: 8, NC)
Not really sure why FTB let T2R off the hook and played kick away. Could be because last time they got embarrassed and were forced to make them forfeit to save face, or maybe they are waiting until the end of the season to make them forfeit this time. Two things they can take away from this game is they found their new ace pitcher, Dena and Grampa Shane can still reel in web gem catches while ripping butts in the outfield. At least this week they dominated Klam Jam like Darcey dominates Mac after 4 Smirnoff Ices. Later that night they also acquired Kathy Nugs off waivers.
#7. Ma Dixon Cider (0-1-1) (LW: 6, -1)
Not really sure if the defense has improved or if RR's offense is so bad they made JSparks look like a fatter, whiter, way better looking Pedro circa 2000. Make or break double header tonight that could easily be 2 wins or 2 losses. Got to get those bunts down and got to get through that first inning clean. I'm typing this at 2pm with a beer in front of me so I'm sure tonight's going to be a disaster.
#6. Rum Riot (0-1-1) (LW: 5, -1)
Same story, different team as RR's offense looked anemic and their defense looked good because of MDC's lack of offense. Need to give credit where it's due, Travis pitched really well last week and Joe Kane was impressive at catcher. Things are looking up this week because they get to play FTB and have a good time, then be miserable against T2R.
#5. The Closers (1-1) (LW: 7, +2)
TC started upset week by capitalizing on HML's throwing errors, scoring early, and shutting them down the rest of the game. Not entirely sure how HML couldn't score on Bruni, but whatever. They've got that "Nobody believes in us!" attitude (you're welcome) and 2 very winnable games this week. Cobb leads the league in number of messages sent to me asking when the GMoT will be out (love it!).
#4. Time 2 Retire (2-1) (LW: 4, NC)
They got a win gift wrapped for them last week. Heard they had so few players that they recruited a few homeless people from the Resource Center up the street. Then in an unprecedented move, Papi trades arguably the best girl in the league for 3 baskets of popcorn at Dewey's (that shit's free, bro). There are also rumors of The Legend returning for a different team. T2R is circling the drain, but will probably still go 6-2 and make the finals.
#3. Prestige Worldwide (2-1) (LW: 3, NC)
It's like 2 different teams showed up last week. Shutting out a good MNM team (even without Bez or Dustin, they should beat most teams), then bizarro PW shows up against HML and loses bad. Lots of throwing the ball around and I'm sure Stevey tried to stab somebody and pulled out a couple fistfuls of hair. Not much distance between #1 and #4 right now.
#2. Hand Made Love (2-1) (LW: 2, NC)
Not sure if it was more PW being bad or HML being good that earned them a win last week with PW being tired from beating on MNM and HML being well rested after taking the first game off against TC. They are #2 for a reason, so I'll assume the latter this time. Not making many mistakes and capitalizing on the other teams errors in HML's biggest strength and it seems they went 1 for 2 in that aspect last week.
#1. Muff N Men (2-1) (LW: 1, NC)
How do you get shut out and remain number one? Have all the teams that could overtake you also lose the same week I guess. Hard to bump them out of the top spot given the circumstances. They were missing 2 of their better players last week as Dustin (foot injury) and Bez (cramps) were inactive. Given that the rest of the bunch got shut out I still think they would've lost even with them both. Top seed could potentially be on the line this week.
This Weeks Games
6PM
Hand Made Love vs. Muff N Men
Game of the Week! It'd be nice if Buster Olney would return my calls and let me know whether Bez or Steve Ginn will be showing up this week. This should be a textbook "Kickball Defense for Dummy's" game and lucky for MNM, I'm picking HML 2-1.
Ma Dixon Cider vs. Prestige Worldwide
Whoever jumps out and scores the first few runs wins this game. Unfortunately, it won't be MDC this week. PW should get the early jump on a way too sober team and win 5-3.
Rum Riot vs. Fall-Tea Balls
Make up game from week 2. Could be the battle for the bottom here. The question isn't who will win, it's how will Kathy Nugs adjust to drinking Twisted Teas. RR wins 4-1.
7PM
The Closers vs. Fall-Tea Balls
TC gets a warm up game against a team loaded on Twisted and just anxious to get the kickball out of the way so the Klam Jam can start. TC wins 4-2.
Time 2 Retire vs. Rum Riot
This seems like one of those games that T2R is going to play great and pile on runs against a good defense (they seem to have one a season). T2R wins 8-2.
8PM
Ma Dixon Cider vs. The Closers
Drunkability should be in full effect for MDC by the time this game starts at 9:15. Probably won't help much but st least MDC won't remember so it never happened! TC edges it out 4-3.
Last Week 1-3-1 (yikes)
Season 4-5-1
Thanks to Joey, Tim, and Talbot for some useful recaps that were plagiarized!
-Sparks
#8. Fall-Tea Balls (0-2) (LW: 8, NC)
Not really sure why FTB let T2R off the hook and played kick away. Could be because last time they got embarrassed and were forced to make them forfeit to save face, or maybe they are waiting until the end of the season to make them forfeit this time. Two things they can take away from this game is they found their new ace pitcher, Dena and Grampa Shane can still reel in web gem catches while ripping butts in the outfield. At least this week they dominated Klam Jam like Darcey dominates Mac after 4 Smirnoff Ices. Later that night they also acquired Kathy Nugs off waivers.
#7. Ma Dixon Cider (0-1-1) (LW: 6, -1)
Not really sure if the defense has improved or if RR's offense is so bad they made JSparks look like a fatter, whiter, way better looking Pedro circa 2000. Make or break double header tonight that could easily be 2 wins or 2 losses. Got to get those bunts down and got to get through that first inning clean. I'm typing this at 2pm with a beer in front of me so I'm sure tonight's going to be a disaster.
#6. Rum Riot (0-1-1) (LW: 5, -1)
Same story, different team as RR's offense looked anemic and their defense looked good because of MDC's lack of offense. Need to give credit where it's due, Travis pitched really well last week and Joe Kane was impressive at catcher. Things are looking up this week because they get to play FTB and have a good time, then be miserable against T2R.
#5. The Closers (1-1) (LW: 7, +2)
TC started upset week by capitalizing on HML's throwing errors, scoring early, and shutting them down the rest of the game. Not entirely sure how HML couldn't score on Bruni, but whatever. They've got that "Nobody believes in us!" attitude (you're welcome) and 2 very winnable games this week. Cobb leads the league in number of messages sent to me asking when the GMoT will be out (love it!).
#4. Time 2 Retire (2-1) (LW: 4, NC)
They got a win gift wrapped for them last week. Heard they had so few players that they recruited a few homeless people from the Resource Center up the street. Then in an unprecedented move, Papi trades arguably the best girl in the league for 3 baskets of popcorn at Dewey's (that shit's free, bro). There are also rumors of The Legend returning for a different team. T2R is circling the drain, but will probably still go 6-2 and make the finals.
#3. Prestige Worldwide (2-1) (LW: 3, NC)
It's like 2 different teams showed up last week. Shutting out a good MNM team (even without Bez or Dustin, they should beat most teams), then bizarro PW shows up against HML and loses bad. Lots of throwing the ball around and I'm sure Stevey tried to stab somebody and pulled out a couple fistfuls of hair. Not much distance between #1 and #4 right now.
#2. Hand Made Love (2-1) (LW: 2, NC)
Not sure if it was more PW being bad or HML being good that earned them a win last week with PW being tired from beating on MNM and HML being well rested after taking the first game off against TC. They are #2 for a reason, so I'll assume the latter this time. Not making many mistakes and capitalizing on the other teams errors in HML's biggest strength and it seems they went 1 for 2 in that aspect last week.
#1. Muff N Men (2-1) (LW: 1, NC)
How do you get shut out and remain number one? Have all the teams that could overtake you also lose the same week I guess. Hard to bump them out of the top spot given the circumstances. They were missing 2 of their better players last week as Dustin (foot injury) and Bez (cramps) were inactive. Given that the rest of the bunch got shut out I still think they would've lost even with them both. Top seed could potentially be on the line this week.
This Weeks Games
6PM
Hand Made Love vs. Muff N Men
Game of the Week! It'd be nice if Buster Olney would return my calls and let me know whether Bez or Steve Ginn will be showing up this week. This should be a textbook "Kickball Defense for Dummy's" game and lucky for MNM, I'm picking HML 2-1.
Ma Dixon Cider vs. Prestige Worldwide
Whoever jumps out and scores the first few runs wins this game. Unfortunately, it won't be MDC this week. PW should get the early jump on a way too sober team and win 5-3.
Rum Riot vs. Fall-Tea Balls
Make up game from week 2. Could be the battle for the bottom here. The question isn't who will win, it's how will Kathy Nugs adjust to drinking Twisted Teas. RR wins 4-1.
7PM
The Closers vs. Fall-Tea Balls
TC gets a warm up game against a team loaded on Twisted and just anxious to get the kickball out of the way so the Klam Jam can start. TC wins 4-2.
Time 2 Retire vs. Rum Riot
This seems like one of those games that T2R is going to play great and pile on runs against a good defense (they seem to have one a season). T2R wins 8-2.
8PM
Ma Dixon Cider vs. The Closers
Drunkability should be in full effect for MDC by the time this game starts at 9:15. Probably won't help much but st least MDC won't remember so it never happened! TC edges it out 4-3.
Last Week 1-3-1 (yikes)
Season 4-5-1
Thanks to Joey, Tim, and Talbot for some useful recaps that were plagiarized!
-Sparks
Comments
Post a Comment