Playoff Preview (Part 1)
Playoffs? Did someone say playoffs? Seriously? It's time for the playoffs? Richard Don't Know just wants to win a game! That's right it's time for the playoffs folks. Due to awful scheduling, we don't know 100% for sure who will be playing who just yet. BUT, it is very easy to speculate because I doubt Richard Don't Know is beating T'keela Mockingbirds and I'm pretty sure if Muff N Men had any chance to beat NDW, they would throw the game because they don't want any part of It Ain't Gonna Kick Itself again (JSparks is head reffing this game and Jim Joyce is on first so don't be shocked if there's an upset). Given all that, these are your (most likely) playoff seeds on the left, and what they should WOULD HAVE BEEN on the right had Hoff Constantly took their ass kicking like adults.
#1. Hand Made Love #1. No Dead Weight
#2. No Dead Weight #2. Hand Made Love
#3. Hoff Constantly #3. Beast From the East
#4. Beast From the East #4. T'keela Mockingbirds
#5. T'keela Mockingbirds #5. Muff N Men
#6. Muff N Men #6. Hoff Constantly
#7. It Ain't Gonna Kick Itself #7. It Ain't Gonna Kick Itself
#8. Pitch, Please #8. Pitch, Please
#9. Richard Don't Know #9. Richard Don't Know
So by the looks of things it did not work out in the Hoffs favor. Now you get NDW in the 2nd round assuming you can beat a team that shut you out earlier this season. Anyway, here are your final rankings of the Spring season, in descending order and overall odds of taking home the coveted Gold Kickball.
#9. Richard Don't Know (1000:1)
Regular Season Record: 0-7
Most Impressive Win: I don't even think they beat the Lighthouse team...
What they need to do to win the Gold Kickball: Nothing. Dr Mac Attack already has one in his living room. Only his is made of real gold, because that's how he rolls. There is a better chance of an ice age happening Thursday than RDK winning the league.
#8. Pitch, Please (35:1)
Regular Season Record: 2-5
Most Impressive Win: T'keela Mockingbirds (5-2)
What they need to do to win the Gold Kickball: Would the real Pitch Please show up? Maybe conjure some of that kickball skill from season's past and tighten up that normally good defense? These guys will definitely be a tough match up for Hand Made Love after their play in game.
#7. It Ain't Gonna Kick Itself (25:1)
Regular Season Record: 2-5
Most Impressive Win: Muff N Men (8-4, was more impressive at the time)
What they need to do to win the Gold Kickball: Listen to your captain and bunt. The defense has the ability to be good. The pitching is there (when not blacked out). The offense can put up some runs. But, it's playoff time and you can't leave runs out there especially against NDW. Be smart and you never know, IAGKI could pull off the big upset. That is if David Stern doesn't tell the refs to favor NDW.
#6. Muff N Men (9:1)
Regular Season Record: 3-3-1 (probably)
Most Impressive Win: Hoff Constantly (4-0)
What they need to do to win the Gold Kickball: Make Jello shots with 151 and dish them out to everyone non stop before your game. Also, resurrect that defense that shut out half the league earlier this season. Giving up 8 runs to IAGKI is basically like losing at Pictionary to a blind person, so figure out what worked so well those first few games and duplicate it... 3 times... against better teams... Ya, you're screwed.
#5. Hoff Constantly (7:1)
Regular Season Record: 3-3-1
Most Impressive Win: It Ain't Gonna Kick Itself (6-1)
What they need to do to win the Gold Kickball: Pull a Caitlin and bench all the guaranteed outs on your team. Never a good sign when you're most impressive win is against my team (unless you actually count that forfeit embarrassment), so the Hoffs should probably look into amnestying a few players before Saturday. Though, I'm not sure if all of the Hoffs skill position players showed up for the same game all season, so this team could be a wild card.
#4. T'keela Mockingbirds (5:1)
Regular Season Record: 4-3-1 (most likely)
Most Impressive Win: Hand Made Love (3-0)
What they need to do to win the Gold Kickball: Quit your bitching (Stevey) and play kickball. I'm not sure what TM has been doing lately but it's definitely working. Beating BFE and HML is no small feat. Seems like once the Mocks stapled Steveys lips shut, they started winning games.
#3. Beast From the East (4:1)
Regular Season Record: 4-3
Most Impressive Win: Muff N Men (4-2)
What they need to do to win the Gold Kickball: Shut up and let your game do the talking. One thing BFE has going for them is no lack of confidence, and they'll be the first to tell you that. Bez was mighty proud of being the 4 seed this season (he legitimately was), but don't look past any team you're playing or you'll be watching this weekend.
#2. Hand Made Love (5:2)
Regular Season Record: 5-1-1
Most Impressive Win: Beast From the East (3-2)
What they need to do to win the Gold Kickball: Re-learn how to manufacture runs. This team used to be the best at getting a run across in the first inning every game then letting their defense pressure the opponent. This season they've been shut out twice and almost shut out 2 more times. PP will be no easy 1st round opponent, so HML better learn how to score quick.
#1. No Dead Weight (3:5)
Regular Season Record: 7-0
Most Impressive Win: Hoff Constantly with 9 players 6 of em girls (6-0)
What they need to do to win the Gold Kickball: Whatever they do every season because they seem to win every season. A solid combination of luck and ability can make this team pretty much unstoppable at times. Much like HML, NDW tends to grab an early lead and hold it with tight defense. Travel schedules of some players could cost them this season with the playoffs being stretched out over 14 weeks, but NDW is the odds on favorite to win (again).
This Week's Playoff Games
Play in Game:
#8. Pitch Please vs. #9. Richard Don't Know
Mac has a solid chance of going completely defeated in softball and kickball which really defines a 2 sport athlete and PP may go from runner up in the Fall to complete disaster in the Spring. It'll be real difficult to pick an upset here, and I'm not going to. PP should roll easily 5-1 despite Trish setting a WAKA record by striking out 5 people.
1st Round Matches (These are based on NDW and TM winning their make up games this week.)
Friday:
#4. Beast From the East vs. #5. T'keela Mockingbirds
Both teams started the season slow but got hot towards the end. The only difference is TM got hot against good teams and BFE against "lesser" competition. Bez is a top tier charger who can be rattled by line infractions. Francis can throw the rock and the foreign dude that catches is starting to come around. TM's skill players are no slouches either and if Talbot can keep his pitches bouncy it will make life easier on the defense (though, I think Stevey is a better catcher than Tim). These teams match up pretty evenly which should make this an exciting game. In the end BFE takes it 4-3 on a walk off when Renee gets distracted staring at Shaker and drops a fly ball. The Hop Yard Hero: Kate O'Brien with a bases clearing bunt triple to tie it in the bottom of the 5th.
#2. No Dead Weight vs. #7. It Ain't Gonna Kick Itself
We had a preview of this game last week with NDW winning 4-1. IAGKI's defense has shown signs of brilliance the past couple weeks but is known to make stupid ass mistakes also. The offense can certainly put runs on the board, but hero ball costs them a few runs. NDW does what they always do, score early and often, then protect that lead. This could be a similar game to last Spring when JSparks' rag tag bunch almost shocked the capacity crowd. IAGKI probably won't be drinking as much and hopefully players start listening to their captain and if the right people for NDW can't make it, there could be an upset here. Buuuuut... most likely NDW will get the majority of the close calls as always and pull it out 3-2 with the difference being Papi brushing by Russ and flopping at 3rd and the ref awarding him home. The Hop Yard Hero: Ryan Houghton for missing the game and avoiding that once a game base running mistake.
Saturday:
#1. Hand Made Love vs. #8. Pitch Please
HML has been just terrible this season, but somehow got the number 1 seed and PP has just been terrible. Seems like the defensive stretegy for HML is have Floyd throw so slow it puts the other team to sleep and they can't figure out if they want to kick or bunt, while the offense just makes out and snarfs down Jello shots. PP has pretty much forgotten how to play defense and are not much better on offense and there are talks of Danny Ainge trading half the team away and rebuilding next season. I have a feeling PP is just trying to get this season over with and won't even bother putting up a fight. HML wins 3-1. The Hop Yard Hero: TShaw for playing shirtless and blinding all the kickers.
#3. Hoff Constantly vs. #6. Muff N Men
It's really amazing how pretty much every team besides NDW has played well and played just awful at some point this season. It makes it super difficult to pick winners. The Hoffs can be good if the right mix of players show up and the Muffs rely on their defense to carry their off and on offense. There has to be one upset and since the Hoffs screwing NDW potentially screws my team, karma will be a bitch and they'll get busted with an illegal player or have someone go MIA again. Go Muffs, 3-1. The Hop Yard Hero: Leah, for liver ruining Jello shots.
Stay tuned for part 2 next week!
-Sparks
#1. Hand Made Love #1. No Dead Weight
#2. No Dead Weight #2. Hand Made Love
#3. Hoff Constantly #3. Beast From the East
#4. Beast From the East #4. T'keela Mockingbirds
#5. T'keela Mockingbirds #5. Muff N Men
#6. Muff N Men #6. Hoff Constantly
#7. It Ain't Gonna Kick Itself #7. It Ain't Gonna Kick Itself
#8. Pitch, Please #8. Pitch, Please
#9. Richard Don't Know #9. Richard Don't Know
So by the looks of things it did not work out in the Hoffs favor. Now you get NDW in the 2nd round assuming you can beat a team that shut you out earlier this season. Anyway, here are your final rankings of the Spring season, in descending order and overall odds of taking home the coveted Gold Kickball.
#9. Richard Don't Know (1000:1)
Regular Season Record: 0-7
Most Impressive Win: I don't even think they beat the Lighthouse team...
What they need to do to win the Gold Kickball: Nothing. Dr Mac Attack already has one in his living room. Only his is made of real gold, because that's how he rolls. There is a better chance of an ice age happening Thursday than RDK winning the league.
#8. Pitch, Please (35:1)
Regular Season Record: 2-5
Most Impressive Win: T'keela Mockingbirds (5-2)
What they need to do to win the Gold Kickball: Would the real Pitch Please show up? Maybe conjure some of that kickball skill from season's past and tighten up that normally good defense? These guys will definitely be a tough match up for Hand Made Love after their play in game.
#7. It Ain't Gonna Kick Itself (25:1)
Regular Season Record: 2-5
Most Impressive Win: Muff N Men (8-4, was more impressive at the time)
What they need to do to win the Gold Kickball: Listen to your captain and bunt. The defense has the ability to be good. The pitching is there (when not blacked out). The offense can put up some runs. But, it's playoff time and you can't leave runs out there especially against NDW. Be smart and you never know, IAGKI could pull off the big upset. That is if David Stern doesn't tell the refs to favor NDW.
#6. Muff N Men (9:1)
Regular Season Record: 3-3-1 (probably)
Most Impressive Win: Hoff Constantly (4-0)
What they need to do to win the Gold Kickball: Make Jello shots with 151 and dish them out to everyone non stop before your game. Also, resurrect that defense that shut out half the league earlier this season. Giving up 8 runs to IAGKI is basically like losing at Pictionary to a blind person, so figure out what worked so well those first few games and duplicate it... 3 times... against better teams... Ya, you're screwed.
#5. Hoff Constantly (7:1)
Regular Season Record: 3-3-1
Most Impressive Win: It Ain't Gonna Kick Itself (6-1)
What they need to do to win the Gold Kickball: Pull a Caitlin and bench all the guaranteed outs on your team. Never a good sign when you're most impressive win is against my team (unless you actually count that forfeit embarrassment), so the Hoffs should probably look into amnestying a few players before Saturday. Though, I'm not sure if all of the Hoffs skill position players showed up for the same game all season, so this team could be a wild card.
#4. T'keela Mockingbirds (5:1)
Regular Season Record: 4-3-1 (most likely)
Most Impressive Win: Hand Made Love (3-0)
What they need to do to win the Gold Kickball: Quit your bitching (Stevey) and play kickball. I'm not sure what TM has been doing lately but it's definitely working. Beating BFE and HML is no small feat. Seems like once the Mocks stapled Steveys lips shut, they started winning games.
#3. Beast From the East (4:1)
Regular Season Record: 4-3
Most Impressive Win: Muff N Men (4-2)
What they need to do to win the Gold Kickball: Shut up and let your game do the talking. One thing BFE has going for them is no lack of confidence, and they'll be the first to tell you that. Bez was mighty proud of being the 4 seed this season (he legitimately was), but don't look past any team you're playing or you'll be watching this weekend.
#2. Hand Made Love (5:2)
Regular Season Record: 5-1-1
Most Impressive Win: Beast From the East (3-2)
What they need to do to win the Gold Kickball: Re-learn how to manufacture runs. This team used to be the best at getting a run across in the first inning every game then letting their defense pressure the opponent. This season they've been shut out twice and almost shut out 2 more times. PP will be no easy 1st round opponent, so HML better learn how to score quick.
#1. No Dead Weight (3:5)
Regular Season Record: 7-0
Most Impressive Win: Hoff Constantly with 9 players 6 of em girls (6-0)
What they need to do to win the Gold Kickball: Whatever they do every season because they seem to win every season. A solid combination of luck and ability can make this team pretty much unstoppable at times. Much like HML, NDW tends to grab an early lead and hold it with tight defense. Travel schedules of some players could cost them this season with the playoffs being stretched out over 14 weeks, but NDW is the odds on favorite to win (again).
This Week's Playoff Games
Play in Game:
#8. Pitch Please vs. #9. Richard Don't Know
Mac has a solid chance of going completely defeated in softball and kickball which really defines a 2 sport athlete and PP may go from runner up in the Fall to complete disaster in the Spring. It'll be real difficult to pick an upset here, and I'm not going to. PP should roll easily 5-1 despite Trish setting a WAKA record by striking out 5 people.
1st Round Matches (These are based on NDW and TM winning their make up games this week.)
Friday:
#4. Beast From the East vs. #5. T'keela Mockingbirds
Both teams started the season slow but got hot towards the end. The only difference is TM got hot against good teams and BFE against "lesser" competition. Bez is a top tier charger who can be rattled by line infractions. Francis can throw the rock and the foreign dude that catches is starting to come around. TM's skill players are no slouches either and if Talbot can keep his pitches bouncy it will make life easier on the defense (though, I think Stevey is a better catcher than Tim). These teams match up pretty evenly which should make this an exciting game. In the end BFE takes it 4-3 on a walk off when Renee gets distracted staring at Shaker and drops a fly ball. The Hop Yard Hero: Kate O'Brien with a bases clearing bunt triple to tie it in the bottom of the 5th.
#2. No Dead Weight vs. #7. It Ain't Gonna Kick Itself
We had a preview of this game last week with NDW winning 4-1. IAGKI's defense has shown signs of brilliance the past couple weeks but is known to make stupid ass mistakes also. The offense can certainly put runs on the board, but hero ball costs them a few runs. NDW does what they always do, score early and often, then protect that lead. This could be a similar game to last Spring when JSparks' rag tag bunch almost shocked the capacity crowd. IAGKI probably won't be drinking as much and hopefully players start listening to their captain and if the right people for NDW can't make it, there could be an upset here. Buuuuut... most likely NDW will get the majority of the close calls as always and pull it out 3-2 with the difference being Papi brushing by Russ and flopping at 3rd and the ref awarding him home. The Hop Yard Hero: Ryan Houghton for missing the game and avoiding that once a game base running mistake.
Saturday:
#1. Hand Made Love vs. #8. Pitch Please
HML has been just terrible this season, but somehow got the number 1 seed and PP has just been terrible. Seems like the defensive stretegy for HML is have Floyd throw so slow it puts the other team to sleep and they can't figure out if they want to kick or bunt, while the offense just makes out and snarfs down Jello shots. PP has pretty much forgotten how to play defense and are not much better on offense and there are talks of Danny Ainge trading half the team away and rebuilding next season. I have a feeling PP is just trying to get this season over with and won't even bother putting up a fight. HML wins 3-1. The Hop Yard Hero: TShaw for playing shirtless and blinding all the kickers.
#3. Hoff Constantly vs. #6. Muff N Men
It's really amazing how pretty much every team besides NDW has played well and played just awful at some point this season. It makes it super difficult to pick winners. The Hoffs can be good if the right mix of players show up and the Muffs rely on their defense to carry their off and on offense. There has to be one upset and since the Hoffs screwing NDW potentially screws my team, karma will be a bitch and they'll get busted with an illegal player or have someone go MIA again. Go Muffs, 3-1. The Hop Yard Hero: Leah, for liver ruining Jello shots.
Stay tuned for part 2 next week!
-Sparks
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