Lighthouse Week 5?!?!

What's up LIGHTHOUSERS!

This is a special week for the GSPOT crew, as we have a newcomer to the staff. Our very own Chris Hopper has now joined the team, making it his third official team (that we all know of) that he has joined that no one wanted him on. Congrats to Hopper, we are all thrilled to have the biggest ego'd/shortest man join the staff, and although your mother will be paying me $50 to allow you to write on this, I assure you, it played little into my decision. Besides, I've always been a philanthropist and have helped out the less fortunate, and I figured what better way to help out than to allow the runner-up of last year's Lighthouse League feel like he won something. So here's to you Hop - channel those tears pouring down your cheeks into writer's gold and welcome to the GSPOT.

How about some recaps...

S3XT Panthers (2) vs We've Got The Runs (0)

The S3XT Panthers came out firing on all cylinders, much to the prediction of the GSPOT team, and placed a couple runs on the board against the stagnant offensive jugger-not (HA!) known as WGTR's. The defense was exceptional for the Panthers as they limited the bold-faced liars (aka We've Got The Runs) to nothing but a pile of tears in a 2-0 beat-down. A bit of controversy sparked in the late innings after a consensual (minus one member of WGTR's) sloshball agreement ended the game in the bottom of the sixth. The Panthers swayed the crowd with their incredible salesmanship and incredibly great looks, as the other 95% of WGTR's agreed that the game was over, and the Panthers would never have agreed to play sloshball in the last inning if they thought the game was still continuing. A impressive win for the true Panthers, who are now staring down the only team in front of them, the Tinderellas, a team that's hopes and dreams were crushed by the Panthers late last year.

Swamp Donkeys (4) vs Ball Busters (1)

The Donkeys stuck to their game plan and proved their veteran status, putting the newcomers in their place in a 4-1 victory. The Ball Busters showed a strong lack of experience and alcohol tolerance as the Donkeys dismantled the young crew. The Swamp Donkeys have looked dominant ever since James Moore has started growing out his beard. They've made teams look foolish and have firmly cemented themselves in the number four spot in the league. Although the BB's managed to plate one run, the game was never that close, as the Donkeys dominated from the beginning. If the Ball Buster's hope to climb out of mediocrity, they need to figure it out soon, as playoffs are just around the corner.

We Only Come From Behind (1) vs Misfits (1)

In a battle of who wants to make their parents proud and win a game this season, both teams failed again. It's almost as if both teams didn't want to be the bad guy and leave the other one at the bottom of the leaderboard. The Misfits had finished their cooler full of booze by the 3rd inning, and as history tells us with the Tindies (circa 2012-2013), don't get wasted and expect to be good (unless you've become a professional alcoholic). On the other side of this boring matchup we had WOCFB, where inside sources have told us that their strategy this season I s to fall behind in the standings and hope to climb back the last few games, hence the name. Maybe this week one of these teams will win a game, but don't sacrifice your absurd Crossfit payment to put down at Vegas.

Tinderellas (4) vs EX Panthers (2)

With all of their best players showing up one would have thought that the Panthers were going to put the beat down on the meatheads, however, the Tinderellas have surprised us, yet again, by continuing their win streak, this time against a top tier team. The Tindies know how to score early (which is one of James Chatmas' unsuccessful pickup lines on Tinder) and it helped as they held off the EX Panthers last inning rally and won 4-2. EX Panther's Captain Moody, in an interview after the game, had complained about some calls from the crippled head ref. It seems as though this loss was a tough one to swallow (which comes as a surprise for someone as experienced as Captain Moody), but we look for the Ex Panthers to bounce back this week while the Tindies keep flexing on teams.

And how about some predictions?

Tinderellas vs Ball Busters

With the Tinderellas continuing to impregnate the league with wins, and the Ball Busters coming off of a loss, we would expect this to be a one sided affair. However, some of our Patriots Spygate personnel have reported seeing the Ball Busters practicing on Wednesdays. With the noobs gaining some XP and the Tindies finally proving that they can be scored on, we see this game coming down to the wire. As long as the Tinderellas don't blackout before the 4th inning, we predict this game finishing 3-2 in their favor.

Misfits vs We've Got The Runs

The Misfits can't win, but they can drink. We've Got The Runs apparently can win, as well as drink. Misfits Captain Mike Webster was thrown out of Rivalries last week after an outrage over Commish Hop giving the Barbelt to WGTR instead of the MisFits. We expect the tension to be high during this matchup. Given the amount of trash talking through AOL and MSN messenger this week, we wouldn't be surprised if this joke of a game turns into an all out wrestle mania brawl over the Bar Belt. In this epic battle of the bottom of the league we see it going to the last inning and resulting in another heartbreaking loss for the drunken land of Misfit toys. WGTR's, 3-1.

Swamp Donkeys vs S3XT Panthers

I'm writing this with the belief that Corliss will somehow sneak his way into making this a rain-out and make all this perfect analysis and diagnosis be for naught. In the off chance that this week actually happens, I suppose it is worthwhile to give some insight as to what the GSPOT teams believes will happen. Although the Donkeys are coming off three straight victories, they are running into a S3XT Panther team that has proven themselves, not only last season, but this season as well. The game will come down to who can dig the deepest, and although the Donkeys are more experienced, it is the Panthers who are more conditioned. We expect the Panthers to win this one, 4-2.

EX Panthers vs We Only Come From Behind

Both teams are coming off embarrassing weeks. The EX Panthers looked pathetic against a Tinderella squad that clearly outmatched them, while WOCFB looked even more embarrassing, managing to walk away with a tie against a team that has yet to put one W on the board. We gotta believe that this week at least one team will act like they want to win. The EX Panthers have demonstrated this season that they want to make a statement this year, while WOCFB has demonstrated that they are ready to be spoon-fed crushed peas by a 350-pound Hopper look-a-like while they poop in a pot. We have the EX Panthers running away with this one, 5-1.

That's all for Week 5 kids. I'm almost upset that Hopper and I wasted so much great material, given the fact that Corliss sabotaged this week with rain. Regardless, we hope to see you at Rivalries with or without a game. As always, send in your write-ups to mainegmot@gmail.com. I offered a free pitcher to whatever team submitted a recap, and lo and behold, no team submitted anything. You are all lazier than pre-Subway Jared, and can't even be motivated by the one thing that drives you to lift up your arm. I've lost all hope that we will receive anything but feel free to surprise us. See you all at Rivalries.

You stay classy Lighthouse.

-GSPOT-