Week 3 Lighthouse League Recaps/Predictions

Lighthousers!!!

How the hell is it Week 3 already? If you've done your job and represented your team to your best ability (i.e. partied), you shouldn't remember the first two weeks as well. If you're the type of person who has remembered it all, do not worry, because you have a great opportunity to change things this week with a Cinco de Mayo theme. Put on your best sombrero and fake mustache and relearn why you told yourself several years ago that you would never drink tequila again.

How about some recaps. I would be cheating myself if I didn't take the time to mention I went a perfect 4 for 4 on predictions last week. I am now 6 for 8 on the year, giving me a better percentage than every weather man in the business. Surprisingly, I received a recap this week. There we still six other teams who chose to continue their string of consecutive weeks without sending in a recap. If I can say anything about your lack of effort, I'd say you're consistent. Lucky for you, I'm a salesman, and I get paid to talk my way in and out of things, so sit back and enjoy the nonsense.

Tinderellas (4) vs We Only Come From Behind (0) ***submitted by Hopper***

The Tinderellas beat their all-time rival We Only Come From Behind. After some serious trash talking and HGH accusations, the "Tindies" knocked up the veteran squad. It seems as though these meatheads have finally found the right ratio of booze to mixer, even though it only took four season to be above .500 (there's still plenty of games left!). A big thanks to WOCFB, especially the old and crippled Seth and Scott combo. Without their neglect of rehab, the win wouldn't have been so easy. Captain Jarred has assigned 2-a-days for the rest of the season so these old timers can handle a comeback late in the game.

S3XT Panthers (7) vs Ball Busters (0)

The S3XT Panthers made easy work of the Ball Busters in their first match-up of the season. The Panthers went to work early with their hard hats on and beers in hand. They scored early in the game and never let up. A key play took place at first base late in the second inning as the Ball Busters batter barreled into the Panthers first baseman, Cork. Cork suffered a dislocated shoulder, two broken ribs and a punctured lung, however, continued to stay in the game. At a press conference after the game, Cork stated, "I stayed in the game because I'm a kickball player, and that's what kickball players do." This ultimately fueled the Panthers and led them to the W.

EX Panthers (7) vs Misfits (0)

In a classic example of what it means to walk the line between drunk and uncoordinated, the Misfits somehow proved that too much of a good thing can sometimes be a bad thing. To say that the Misfits were sloppy at the start would be an understatement, but to say I wasn't jealous/impressed would be a lie. The EX Panthers were dominant all game, led by their sure-handed pitcher, Josh Moody. The man on the mound gave it his all from the get go, putting in a Serena Williams like performance, evident from the grunts that could be heard after every pitch. The turning point of the game took place after a baserunner for the EX Panthers, Chelsea, took a ball off the face while running into second. A scrum nearly erupted, but quickly dissipated after seeing the WAKA logo clearly stamped on Chelsea's cheek, which she wore like a badge of honor. The EX Panthers rallied around the gutsiness of the player and put a touchdown on the board in the end.

Swamp Donkeys (3) vs We've Got The Runs (2)

The Donkeys got back on track in Week 2 against the surprise team of Week 1, WGTR's. Since neither team submitted a recap, I assume the game wasn't all that memorable. WGTR's made quite the statement in Week 1 but could not repeat the performance. I anticipate this trend to continue as they square off against the undefeated Tinderellas in Week 3. The Donkeys will look to ride this momentum into Week 3 against a familiar foe, We Only Come From Behind.

And now for the predictions:

Ball Busters vs Misfits

The Ball Busters are coming off a tough loss in Week 2. They ran into a S3XT Panther squad that had everything working for them and just couldn't get anything going. On the other hand, we have the Misfits, who are still searching for their first W on the season. If you analyze the previous games, the Misfits and the Ball Busters have both faced the S3XT and EX Panthers, with the Ball Busters gaining the edge with a win over the EX Panthers in Week 1. I've always been a firm believer of state-dependent memory, which was the only reason I ever graduated from college, and sooner or later, the Misfits alcohol-induced kickball play is going to pay dividends. I'm a gambler at heart, so I'm going to take the Misfits to pull out the victory this week and notch one in the win column. Misfits 4-3.

Swamp Donkeys vs We Only Come From Behind

Looking back in previous seasons, the Swamp Donkeys have always struggled when playing WOCFB, and since it is essentially the same exact teams as previous years, any sensible person would believe that WOCFB would walk away with the W. HOWEVER, the Swamp Donkeys have added an element to their squad for the Spring 2014 season ----- James Moore's beard. Since the beard has joined the team, the pitcher's ERA has dropped a total of 2.32 points (fact). Whether it be the team has finally reached their pinnacle of performance, discovered the fountain of youth or just have been getting lucky, there's no denying the beard is having it's impact. Call me crazy, but I'm going with the Donkeys, 5-2. 

Tinderellas vs We've Got The Runs

We've Got The Runs, after an incredible first week performance, came out flat in their second appearance of the season. Age has and will continue to be a factor as this season rolls on. The Tinderellas have yet to lose a game and will be looking to continue their dominance on the field this Thursday. They have yet to let up a run all season, anchored by their solid infield and high alcohol tolerance. I expect this game to be a low scoring affair, with the Tinderellas continuing their undefeated streak. Tinderellas 3-1.

S3XT Panthers vs EX Panthers

We round off this week's predictions with our Game of the Week. One would expect a lot of trash talking between the two teams, given the fact that the EX Panthers are made up of the castoffs of the S3XT Panthers, but it has been a rather tame week. The captain of the EX Panthers, Josh Moody, did make an attempt mid-week to strike fear in the S3XT Panthers via telephone, however, failed miserably and ended up promoting the talents of the S3XT Panthers in the end. An inside source stated that the EX Panthers players, behind the instructions of Jim Baum, have all been told to try and trip the baserunners of the S3XT Panthers, a cowardly tactic that clearly comes from a team that is searching for any way to gain an edge. The S3XT Panthers, being the classy squad they are, have stated during numerous press conferences this week that although they have respect for the EX Panthers, when it comes time to meet on the field, there will be no holding back, and in the end, it will be the S3XT Panthers celebrating another victory. Strong words, but I tend to agree with the statement, and have the S3XT Panthers winning 5-2.

Thanks for reading Lighthousers and I look forward to seeing you all on the field tomorrow. If you want better recaps, send an email to mainegmot@gmail.com highlighting the game. 

Go Bruins.

-GSPOT-