Superhero Week 7?
Mighty convenient of Hop to take last week off just to get rained out. Do you plan your kickball commissionerring around Joe Cupo's forecast? A lot of people asked why I took a couple weeks off and as much as I'd like to squash some rumors, I won't because I love hearing people complain. The real reason will come out soon anyways. Last time we played we were finally back at Dewey's (most of us have been going there since week 1). If I had to guess, I'd say Dewey's won the 2014 Fall Season bid for sponsor bar, just edging out Styxx (much to Mac's dismay), and Lucas Oil Stadium (WAKA don't like DUI's Jim). I'm sure Hopper will pick some other shitty bar in his ongoing quest to destroy the Superhero league anyway. There was quite a bit of action the last couple weeks that I'll do my best to see if I can remember.
#10. Pitches Be Krazy - PBK got their official NDW welcome 2 weeks ago getting absolutely bludgeoned. I know the website says 12-0, but I've heard the score was a PortSportsesque 25-0. We've all been through it. I encourage you guys to stick with Superhero and don't be a pussy and retreat to Lighthouse. My first season of kickball was with a team that got killed every week, and 30 seasons later, look at me now, we only get killed every OTHER week!
#9. Kick Tease - They almost looked like they knew what they were doing against PP a few weeks ago, and I heard of a great comeback against WCoH last time we played. Unfortunately, almost doesn't count in kickball. Not having PBK on the schedule will most likely leave these guys winless. That's if they don't quit after what NDW is going to do to them tonight.
#8. Pocket Pounders - Amazing that this team beat Rum Riot in it's first ever kickball game. Let me repeat that. This team beat Rum Riot in it's WAKA debut. What the fuck happened since then? They've caught the classic new player mentality where all you want to do is kick every time. There's plenty of athletes on PP. Just bite the bullet and stick to bunting. A few rogue kickers can ruin potentially good innings (see: UntouchaBalls).
#7. The UntouchaBalls - The Balls almost looked like they knew what they were doing against PP (who's turning out to be a fraud). Then, decided to play Lighthouse style against MnP, which obviously sucked. I shouldn't even mention the HML massacre in knee high grass (Shaker, tell your uncle Rodrigo that he has to mow ALL of the fields, please). Rumor has it there will be some changes for the playoffs and captain Sparkles may opt out of his contract at the end of the season.
#6. Chug Norris - A definite middling team this season. No issues beating the weaker teams and tend to give the other middling teams a good game. But, really can't compete against the top dogs of the league. things may change come playoffs when the Chugs take kickball with a shred of seriousness instead of just looking forward to klam jam.
#5. We're Coming on Home - I had higher hopes for WCoH coming into the season. They almost seem to play down to their competition, which is a good way to make a first round exit in the playoffs. There's already rumors about players getting the boot for Fall and such. I saw Shakes trying out for the World Cup a couple weeks ago against Kick Tease launching a defensive kick to the 1st baseman that landed near Cumby's. I hear Landon Donovan is still available.
#4. Muff N Puff - Owners of the weakest schedule in the league thus far and making the most out of it is Muff N Puff. They've only played 1 team listed ahead of them and with Lighthouse teams most likely getting preference on make up games, that's probably all they'll play. I'd like a to see a little more Muff and a lot less Puff this week please.
#3. Rum Riot - RR has been cruising along since that week 1 stumble carrying a 5 game winning streak. Being the lucky team that doesn't play NDW has its perks. That streak will be tough to carry on this week against HML especially with Jared losing all his manhood by getting married a few weeks ago (Congrats you two). RR is almost looking that the team that won it all last year.
#2. No Dead Weight - NDW is back to their tricks again, massacring unsuspecting new teams. I hear in the Fall they are joining Lighthouse to try and scare some teams into Superhero. This week is Darcey's birthday (FB stalking ftw). I'd say buy her a beer but she says she's too old for the OP and usually taps out by 9PM. The Legend himself returned a couple weeks ago and was looking mighty rusty getting pulled after 2 innings of work. Sorry to Kick Tease for being the latest victims this week.
#1. Hand Made Love - HML is really missing a beat this season. Part of the reason why I haven't written in the last few weeks was TShaw. Watching him pitch that one inning, I was just at a complete loss for words. I could have made the strike zone the size of the baseball infield and he still would've had trouble hitting it. I think if he threw a kickball off a boat in the middle of Sebago lake he would miss water. Other than that, I don't see HML losing until potentially the finals this season #jinxed.
This Week's Games
6PM
The UntouchaBalls (-5) vs. Pitches Be Krazy
This will most likely be a kick away game as the Balls aren't as merciless as other teams.
NDW (-12) vs. Kick Tease
Blowout alert! Blowout alert! If I were a betting man I'd lay the 12 runs and cash in on the fact that NDW will still be bunting when they're up 25-0
Hand Made Love (-1) vs. Rum Riot
Game of the Week! HML is looking to end RR's 5 game win streak and RR is looking to get mentioned among the elite teams again. Playing on the garbage lacrosse field (apparently unless you complain, the good field's are reserved for Lighthouse #favoritism) will benefit reigning Cy Kerry winner Travis. This has one of those tie game feels but I hate predicting a tie and HML always manages to win the close ones.
650PM
We're Coming on Home (-1) vs. Muff N Puff
The underachievers vs the overachievers in this match. This is a late game so the Muffs may actually show up on time for once. Hopefully WCoH doesn't make me a sucker again.
Chug Norris (-3) vs. Pocket Pounders
PP is probably already looking ahead to softball and CN is looking ahead to klam jam. I'll take experience over a team that peaked week 1.
Special Sloshaball Game
Tinderella's (-8) vs MisFits
I'll be putting my sloshball skills on display tonight as a special sub for Hop's team. All the crossfitters will be talking about how many Jessie's and Murph's they did today, meanwhile this chubby fuck will be dominating like I know only how. I'll cover the 8 run spread alone most likely.
Sorry I waited so long to post this week. I wanted to make TShaw sweat a bit.
Power Rankings
#10. Pitches Be Krazy - PBK got their official NDW welcome 2 weeks ago getting absolutely bludgeoned. I know the website says 12-0, but I've heard the score was a PortSportsesque 25-0. We've all been through it. I encourage you guys to stick with Superhero and don't be a pussy and retreat to Lighthouse. My first season of kickball was with a team that got killed every week, and 30 seasons later, look at me now, we only get killed every OTHER week!
#9. Kick Tease - They almost looked like they knew what they were doing against PP a few weeks ago, and I heard of a great comeback against WCoH last time we played. Unfortunately, almost doesn't count in kickball. Not having PBK on the schedule will most likely leave these guys winless. That's if they don't quit after what NDW is going to do to them tonight.
#8. Pocket Pounders - Amazing that this team beat Rum Riot in it's first ever kickball game. Let me repeat that. This team beat Rum Riot in it's WAKA debut. What the fuck happened since then? They've caught the classic new player mentality where all you want to do is kick every time. There's plenty of athletes on PP. Just bite the bullet and stick to bunting. A few rogue kickers can ruin potentially good innings (see: UntouchaBalls).
#7. The UntouchaBalls - The Balls almost looked like they knew what they were doing against PP (who's turning out to be a fraud). Then, decided to play Lighthouse style against MnP, which obviously sucked. I shouldn't even mention the HML massacre in knee high grass (Shaker, tell your uncle Rodrigo that he has to mow ALL of the fields, please). Rumor has it there will be some changes for the playoffs and captain Sparkles may opt out of his contract at the end of the season.
#6. Chug Norris - A definite middling team this season. No issues beating the weaker teams and tend to give the other middling teams a good game. But, really can't compete against the top dogs of the league. things may change come playoffs when the Chugs take kickball with a shred of seriousness instead of just looking forward to klam jam.
#5. We're Coming on Home - I had higher hopes for WCoH coming into the season. They almost seem to play down to their competition, which is a good way to make a first round exit in the playoffs. There's already rumors about players getting the boot for Fall and such. I saw Shakes trying out for the World Cup a couple weeks ago against Kick Tease launching a defensive kick to the 1st baseman that landed near Cumby's. I hear Landon Donovan is still available.
#4. Muff N Puff - Owners of the weakest schedule in the league thus far and making the most out of it is Muff N Puff. They've only played 1 team listed ahead of them and with Lighthouse teams most likely getting preference on make up games, that's probably all they'll play. I'd like a to see a little more Muff and a lot less Puff this week please.
#3. Rum Riot - RR has been cruising along since that week 1 stumble carrying a 5 game winning streak. Being the lucky team that doesn't play NDW has its perks. That streak will be tough to carry on this week against HML especially with Jared losing all his manhood by getting married a few weeks ago (Congrats you two). RR is almost looking that the team that won it all last year.
#2. No Dead Weight - NDW is back to their tricks again, massacring unsuspecting new teams. I hear in the Fall they are joining Lighthouse to try and scare some teams into Superhero. This week is Darcey's birthday (FB stalking ftw). I'd say buy her a beer but she says she's too old for the OP and usually taps out by 9PM. The Legend himself returned a couple weeks ago and was looking mighty rusty getting pulled after 2 innings of work. Sorry to Kick Tease for being the latest victims this week.
#1. Hand Made Love - HML is really missing a beat this season. Part of the reason why I haven't written in the last few weeks was TShaw. Watching him pitch that one inning, I was just at a complete loss for words. I could have made the strike zone the size of the baseball infield and he still would've had trouble hitting it. I think if he threw a kickball off a boat in the middle of Sebago lake he would miss water. Other than that, I don't see HML losing until potentially the finals this season #jinxed.
This Week's Games
6PM
The UntouchaBalls (-5) vs. Pitches Be Krazy
This will most likely be a kick away game as the Balls aren't as merciless as other teams.
NDW (-12) vs. Kick Tease
Blowout alert! Blowout alert! If I were a betting man I'd lay the 12 runs and cash in on the fact that NDW will still be bunting when they're up 25-0
Hand Made Love (-1) vs. Rum Riot
Game of the Week! HML is looking to end RR's 5 game win streak and RR is looking to get mentioned among the elite teams again. Playing on the garbage lacrosse field (apparently unless you complain, the good field's are reserved for Lighthouse #favoritism) will benefit reigning Cy Kerry winner Travis. This has one of those tie game feels but I hate predicting a tie and HML always manages to win the close ones.
650PM
We're Coming on Home (-1) vs. Muff N Puff
The underachievers vs the overachievers in this match. This is a late game so the Muffs may actually show up on time for once. Hopefully WCoH doesn't make me a sucker again.
Chug Norris (-3) vs. Pocket Pounders
PP is probably already looking ahead to softball and CN is looking ahead to klam jam. I'll take experience over a team that peaked week 1.
Special Sloshaball Game
Tinderella's (-8) vs MisFits
I'll be putting my sloshball skills on display tonight as a special sub for Hop's team. All the crossfitters will be talking about how many Jessie's and Murph's they did today, meanwhile this chubby fuck will be dominating like I know only how. I'll cover the 8 run spread alone most likely.
Sorry I waited so long to post this week. I wanted to make TShaw sweat a bit.
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