The Final Four

           This Thursday marks the final week of games in our Spring season. This has genuinely been a boring season. The games were remarkably predictable. The league is split between our current and former sponsor bar. OPT hasn't seen a kickball shirt since week 2. Stevey only had one flip out. Bez is about as much fun as shoveling snow now. I hope that Fall season brings a little more excitement. With all that being said, this should be the most exciting week of the season. We have the 4 teams that have been the best 4 teams all season. My perfect bracket is still in tact and I intend to keep it that way. Bar belt this week goes to Leah Jones. She got bicycle kicked by Joey, got staples in her head, felt good enough to come to Dewey's (what's your excuse everyone who couldn't make it out?), and almost beat the shit out of a bouncer's girlfriend at Amigo's while dropping C-bombs the whole way.

The Final Four

#1 Hand Made Love (7-0-1) vs. #4. Rum Riot (6-2)

The two longest tenured teams in the league. I know some teams have been together longer but these two teams have had basically the same roster for as long as I can remember. These teams stack up a lot closer than the beat down HML put on RR last time let on. Obviously HML has an advantage at catcher, as Steve is the best. Joe is very good, but there's a reason why NDW always offers to pay for Steve's trip to Vegas if he ever decided to go. Ollie and Adam are pretty evenly matched at charger and RR has a pitching advantage in Travis. Especially since the HML pitcher won't be there this week (so I've heard). The difference in this game will be the offense. HML is a far superior bunting team and can manufacture runs with the best of them. RR can bunt well, but they tend to do the most damage with kicks. If I had to pick (and I do), I'm going with HML 3-2.

#2. No Dead Weight (6-0-2) vs. #3. Muff N Puff (7-1)

Oddly enough, it was Papi this year not Bez making crazy claims. Listen up Stevey! Papi is taking bets that NDW puts up at least 12 on the Muffs and then 6 on HML. I'm sure you'll see him on Marginal Way with a cardboard sign after this week. I don't know if anyone saw last week's MNP vs. WCoH shitshow, but Joey showed people why you don't leave his team when he Liu Kanged his former teammate Leah (and made the catch). That shows how dedicated he is to winning. Unfortunately for the Muffs, NDW is looking like the force they should be. Houghton is juicing more than ever. Bez hasn't been iced all season. Papi almost looks like a credible catcher again. Even Darcey got on base this season. If The Legend shows up, this very well could be a blow out. Can't see the Muffs stopping NDW this season. 9-1.

The Ever So Predictable Championship

#1. Hand Made Love vs. #2. No Dead Weight

It should be fitting that the only 2 undefeated teams (they tied 0-0 in regular season) meet in the championship game. Hand Made Love, who have mastered the art of scoring 1 or 2 runs and letting their mistake-free defense do the rest versus the always loved and somehow mild mannered this season, NDW. The benefit of being such a lush is I get to know everyone on every team and that allows me to write a position by position breakdown.

Pitcher: NDW has a monster advantage here if Kerry shows up but Farynaz and Houghton are pretty evenly matched. No one knows if The Legend cometh. Advantage: NDW (probably).

Catcher: Steve Ginn is obviously the best catcher in the league and has that rare ability to throw NDW off their game sometimes. Papi has put on that relationship weight but has the savvy and knowledge of the position to make plays. Advantage: HML.

Charger: Bez is the best in the league. If you're FB friends with him, you know he travels the world as a kickball mercenary crushing people batting averages. His only weakness is he's probably bored of our non superstar filled league, and the encroachment line. Adam's no slouch either. He's got a great arm and a good eye for the position. Advantage: NDW

1st Base: I'd say Adie is the best 1st baseman in the league right now. Just seems to make good decisions and has a solid 1st to 3rd throw. Zodie is a solid all around 1st baseman as well. He makes good decisions (so roid rage Ryan doesn't scream at him) and has monster hands that allow him to scoop up almost anything. Advantage: HML

Outfield: Both teams sport a solid outfield and rarely has any drops. NDW probably has superior ladies out there and HML has TShaw who probably will stick to coaching this week. Advantage: NDW

Coaching: There's no question TShaw's inspirational drunken blabbering has contributed greatly to HML's success this season. NDW's captain contingent (Houghton, Bez, BShaw) has the strategic advantage for sure, but I'd see NDW quitting on their captains long before HML quits on TShaw. Advantage: HML.

Offense: NDW is dangerous from top to bottom and HML is pretty top heavy offensively. Look for both teams to have similar lineups of all guys then all girls. Difference is HML probably has 4 or 5 easier outs and NDW has 2 (both last name: Shaw). Advantage: NDW

I feel like this game will be either an NDW blowout, or we will cap off the season with it's best game of the year. The first inning will decide that. When NDW gets a lead, they generally get more aggressive and pile on the runs. When they fall behind early, they make the mistake of pressing when they don't need to. Either way, I think NDW takes it.

Rum Riot and Muff N Puff have full permission to shit on me for wasting my time with that championship write up if either of them pull off an upset!