Week 6 Rankings
Week 6 Power Rankings
Sorry for not updating last week. Had some personal stuff that some of you know about. I'll make up for it this week.
There are rumors circulating of a "Chug Off" crown, after the video of Sing vs. Wade went viral. The rules would be: The champion has to take on any and all challengers. The challenger provides the beer. Can only challenge the current champion once a week at Dewey's. If the champion is too drunk or does not want to drink anymore, he or she forfeits their crown and can try again next week. Champion must show up to Dewey's. Champion can only be challenged 3 times in one week. Current champion gets 1 free pitcher of Bud Light or Shipyard.
One flash of lightning at 4pm cancels what otherwise would have been a beautiful night for kickball a few weeks ago, but yet we played last week in steady rain. Very confusing... Even Dewey's looked like the games were rained out with about 7 people coming out. Either way, games were played, and NDW beat Hoff Constantly with 9 players (3 guys) then woke up Friday morning with a Loss (more on that later). WHICH means, we have Forfeitgate II, and another edition of the "What If? Playoff Bracket". Just like last season, my rankings and records reflect games played and I do not honor "after the fact" forfeits.
#9. Richard Don't Know (0-3, Last Gm: L 0-8 to MNM) (Last Wk: 9, NC)
RDK has scored one run this season (that probably includes their "bye" week game). They seem to have the same mantra as half of my team. Try to kick the ball as hard as you can every time regardless of the situation. As you will read below, it doesn't work. At least they have one person batting over .200 (Trish), and the reigning "Chug Off" champion (Sing). Unfortunately for RDK, they don't play IAGKI this season so it looks like a defeated season (probably for both teams).
RDK has scored one run this season (that probably includes their "bye" week game). They seem to have the same mantra as half of my team. Try to kick the ball as hard as you can every time regardless of the situation. As you will read below, it doesn't work. At least they have one person batting over .200 (Trish), and the reigning "Chug Off" champion (Sing). Unfortunately for RDK, they don't play IAGKI this season so it looks like a defeated season (probably for both teams).
#8. It Ain't Gonna Kick Itself (0-4, Last Gm: L 3-6 to BFE) (Last Wk: 8, NC)
Eventually my team will realize that just because I'm terrible at kickball, that doesn't mean that they shouldn't listen to my advice. I know the kid in you wants to kick the crap out of the ball, but your .087 batting average should be telling you to try something else. I will give us some credit, though. We can put up some runs, and we have against some solid defenses. BUUT, we've also left a lot of runs on the bases by being too greedy. Defense has shown flashes of brilliance and also flashes of Helen Keller. We almost seem destined for the "play in" game against RDK. (That's right, I just called out my team on social media.)
Eventually my team will realize that just because I'm terrible at kickball, that doesn't mean that they shouldn't listen to my advice. I know the kid in you wants to kick the crap out of the ball, but your .087 batting average should be telling you to try something else. I will give us some credit, though. We can put up some runs, and we have against some solid defenses. BUUT, we've also left a lot of runs on the bases by being too greedy. Defense has shown flashes of brilliance and also flashes of Helen Keller. We almost seem destined for the "play in" game against RDK. (That's right, I just called out my team on social media.)
#7. T'keela Mockingbirds (1-3, Last Gm: L 2-5 to PP) (Last Wk: 7, NC)
Casual week for TM. Solid bar showing. Stevey flipping his shit on 11 refs, 4 opponents, and 2 teammates. They looked halfway decent a couple weeks ago against NDW but struggled to look onetenthway decent against PP. Mr. Rogers moment here for Stevey: Having a meltdown doesn't solve anything (unless you're an LFL coach telling some chick you'll punch her in the fucking face for correcting you). When a call is made, just accept it. If you have an issue with a rule, ask your captain to stop the game and talk to the head ref. We play kickball to drink, have fun, and make people forfeit when they beat us with 3 guys. Not to listen to people complain, or lose to teams that are 2/3 girls. The rest of you guys are awesome though because you played Sloshball on that horribly sunny night that kickball was canceled.
Casual week for TM. Solid bar showing. Stevey flipping his shit on 11 refs, 4 opponents, and 2 teammates. They looked halfway decent a couple weeks ago against NDW but struggled to look onetenthway decent against PP. Mr. Rogers moment here for Stevey: Having a meltdown doesn't solve anything (unless you're an LFL coach telling some chick you'll punch her in the fucking face for correcting you). When a call is made, just accept it. If you have an issue with a rule, ask your captain to stop the game and talk to the head ref. We play kickball to drink, have fun, and make people forfeit when they beat us with 3 guys. Not to listen to people complain, or lose to teams that are 2/3 girls. The rest of you guys are awesome though because you played Sloshball on that horribly sunny night that kickball was canceled.
#6. Pitch, Please (1-2, Last Gm: W 5-2 vs. TM) (Last Wk: 4, -2)
PP snagged a much needed win last week. I'm honestly not really sure what to make of this team yet. That efficient defense that used to be Rum Riot hasn't really taken shape this season, and after what the 6 girls did to HC it pretty much makes any team that lost to them look even worse. Seems like there's no one causing trouble or blacking out on the field or at the bar either. Can anyone verify if PP even plays on Thursdays or if they preplay their opponents on a different night? Sorry guys, I like handing out bulletin board material to the teams we play each week.
PP snagged a much needed win last week. I'm honestly not really sure what to make of this team yet. That efficient defense that used to be Rum Riot hasn't really taken shape this season, and after what the 6 girls did to HC it pretty much makes any team that lost to them look even worse. Seems like there's no one causing trouble or blacking out on the field or at the bar either. Can anyone verify if PP even plays on Thursdays or if they preplay their opponents on a different night? Sorry guys, I like handing out bulletin board material to the teams we play each week.
#5. Hoff Constantly (2-2, Last Gm: L 0-6 to NDW) (Last Wk: 5, NC)
On to this weeks hot topic. I'll break it down for anyone that doesn't already know. The Hoff's played NDW last week. NDW had 3 guys, and 6 girls with the potential of Kerry showing up late. There was an agreement made that they would play for real and take an out for the missing guy until Kerry shows up (or doesn't). NDW won 6-0 as reflected in my standings. Friday morning, an anonymous captain for HC calls General KSarge demanding NDW forfeit the game for not fielding the WAKA required 4 guys. The forfeit is honored, and now a surprisingly calm all season NDW team has been unleashed. This was the text message sent to Lawson after hearing the news:
#4. Beast From the East (2-2, Last Gm: W 6-3 vs. IAGKI) (Last Wk: 6, +2)
Two wins in a row for BFE. One more, and we call that a "winning streak". Granted the combined record of the 2 teams you beat is 0-30, and you allowed the only run RDK has scored all season. I wouldn't book that flight to Vegas just yet. I've noticed after the big pukefest at the beginning of the season, that Bez has shied away from post game festivities at Dewey's and OPT. Fear of the almost guaranteed 5 "icings" a night keeping you away? Or is it that your head reffing is so bad that people actually want ME back behind the plate? Medium test this week with a double header against 2 underachieving teams.
On to this weeks hot topic. I'll break it down for anyone that doesn't already know. The Hoff's played NDW last week. NDW had 3 guys, and 6 girls with the potential of Kerry showing up late. There was an agreement made that they would play for real and take an out for the missing guy until Kerry shows up (or doesn't). NDW won 6-0 as reflected in my standings. Friday morning, an anonymous captain for HC calls General KSarge demanding NDW forfeit the game for not fielding the WAKA required 4 guys. The forfeit is honored, and now a surprisingly calm all season NDW team has been unleashed. This was the text message sent to Lawson after hearing the news:
Rumor is they did it as kind of a payback for last Fall's forfeitgate. Either way, it's opened a huge can of worms. The real question here is... How can you be shut out against a team that's playing a half crippled midget at charger, has their 7th string pitcher, a girl at first base (granted it was Darcey and the term "girl" is used loosely), and a 3 person outfield that's all girls? On top of the fact it was raining. But, um, solid win guys...
#4. Beast From the East (2-2, Last Gm: W 6-3 vs. IAGKI) (Last Wk: 6, +2)
Two wins in a row for BFE. One more, and we call that a "winning streak". Granted the combined record of the 2 teams you beat is 0-30, and you allowed the only run RDK has scored all season. I wouldn't book that flight to Vegas just yet. I've noticed after the big pukefest at the beginning of the season, that Bez has shied away from post game festivities at Dewey's and OPT. Fear of the almost guaranteed 5 "icings" a night keeping you away? Or is it that your head reffing is so bad that people actually want ME back behind the plate? Medium test this week with a double header against 2 underachieving teams.
#3. Muff N Men (3-0, Last Gm: W 8-0 vs RDK) (Last Wk: 3, NC)
With all the other stuff going on this season, the Muffs have been pretty much been over looked. They are quietly undefeated and haven't given up a run. Granted, their 3 wins weren't against anyone special, they will be put to the test this week against HML in the game of the week.
With all the other stuff going on this season, the Muffs have been pretty much been over looked. They are quietly undefeated and haven't given up a run. Granted, their 3 wins weren't against anyone special, they will be put to the test this week against HML in the game of the week.
#2. Hand Made Love (3-0, Last Gm: Bye) (Last Wk: 2, NC)
After refusing to play sloshball in their cross over (bye) week because Floyd doesn't like to chug his appletinis, HML will be put to the test this week. I'm not very impressed with the normally lock down defense (you gave up 5 runs against my team). Teams are slowly figuring out that HML has only one strength (Steve) and are doing their best to stay away from him.
After refusing to play sloshball in their cross over (bye) week because Floyd doesn't like to chug his appletinis, HML will be put to the test this week. I'm not very impressed with the normally lock down defense (you gave up 5 runs against my team). Teams are slowly figuring out that HML has only one strength (Steve) and are doing their best to stay away from him.
#1. No Dead Weight (4-0, Last Gm: W 6-0 vs. HC) (Last Wk: 1, NC)
NDW retains the #1 spot on the rankings this week and how is anyone going to beat a team that dismantled a decent HC last week with only 9 players (6 chicks). Although, " (T)he 30 year old a-holes that take kickball way more serious than what it is and argue and bitch the way they do." made a call in to the WAKA big wigs and now NDW is technically the #4 team this season according to WAKA standings. I gave these guys a TON of shit last fall for doing what they did to Rum Riot, so expect to be subtly reminded about it every week this season as well.
NDW retains the #1 spot on the rankings this week and how is anyone going to beat a team that dismantled a decent HC last week with only 9 players (6 chicks). Although, " (T)he 30 year old a-holes that take kickball way more serious than what it is and argue and bitch the way they do." made a call in to the WAKA big wigs and now NDW is technically the #4 team this season according to WAKA standings. I gave these guys a TON of shit last fall for doing what they did to Rum Riot, so expect to be subtly reminded about it every week this season as well.
This Weeks Games
Early Games
Hand Made Love vs. Muff N Men
Game of the week. The best 2 catchers in the league square off in the battle for the #2 ranking. The Muffs have a smothering D, but HML (for whatever reason) always finds a way to win. That trend continues this week. HML 2-1.
Game of the week. The best 2 catchers in the league square off in the battle for the #2 ranking. The Muffs have a smothering D, but HML (for whatever reason) always finds a way to win. That trend continues this week. HML 2-1.
Hoff Constantly vs. Richard Don't Know
After how they played last week, I would think this one could be an upset.. But generally decent teams don't play bad against bad teams so I'll take HC here 4-0.
After how they played last week, I would think this one could be an upset.. But generally decent teams don't play bad against bad teams so I'll take HC here 4-0.
Pitch, Please vs. Beast From the East
BFE is using their back up pitcher Shaker this week and inside sources tell me he plans on getting shitfaced this week (how is that different from normal?). PP hasn't really done anything that's stood out this season either. So for no reason at all, I'm taking the upset here. PP squeaks it out 3-2.
BFE is using their back up pitcher Shaker this week and inside sources tell me he plans on getting shitfaced this week (how is that different from normal?). PP hasn't really done anything that's stood out this season either. So for no reason at all, I'm taking the upset here. PP squeaks it out 3-2.
Late Games
T'keela Mockingbirds vs. Beast From the East
BFE should be all primed up after their first game and TM has been one giant disaster this season. BFE wins 5-2.
BFE should be all primed up after their first game and TM has been one giant disaster this season. BFE wins 5-2.
Pitch, Please vs. It Ain't Gonna Kick Itself
I always pick against my team and haven't been wrong yet, so I'm going out on a limb and picking us to win 1 time this season 4-3.
I always pick against my team and haven't been wrong yet, so I'm going out on a limb and picking us to win 1 time this season 4-3.
Scotty vs. Mini Scotty
Pretty sure both teams are just going to skip this game and work each other out.
Pretty sure both teams are just going to skip this game and work each other out.
Last 2 weeks 7-1
Season 14-2
Bachelor/ette of the Week
Darcey "Mr Perfect" Webster
Darcey has been playing kickball and crushing the spirit of most men since 2008. When she's not dropping Perfectplexes on bitches she spends most of her time upta Windham at Club 302 with her cousins and their brodads. She can play almost any position on and off the kickball field and being a country gal the word "incest" means family reunion. Her other interests include: winning, softball, shirtless Busque, and randomly screaming at people. You can catch this minx at Dewey's and most likely OPT tonight if she can evade the cops long enough after murdering me.
Cya on the fields!
-Sparks
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